What's Next?
by SupernaturalMondler
Summary: Multiple years post series. Josh is in a rut, and he doesn't even know it. It's up to Sam and Donna to get him back doing what he loves.
1. Chapter 1

Part I: The before

 _November 2017_

Josh took a drink from his beer as he sighed and changed the channel. The world truly wasn't what it used to be, he thought to himself. Certainly he wasn't what he used to be either. In a different time, nothing could get him fired up like watching CNN, but now it just made him…numb.

Unable to settle on anything, he turned off the TV and leaned his head back in his armchair. Only 9pm and he was already thinking about heading to bed. The old Josh would still be at the office now. The old Josh used to spend the entire night in his office sometimes. He really wasn't sure what happened to that guy.

"Hey, I thought I heard you in here."

Josh didn't open his eyes, but spun around in the chair so that he was facing his wife.

"Is it morning yet?" he groaned, before he couldn't resist opening one eye just to see her roll her eyes and smile at him, the way she always has. One thing that hasn't changed—and Josh is thankful for it every day—is the love he feels for Donna, and the love she gives him in return. They had been officially together for more than ten years now, and still every moment with her was like he was falling in love with her all over again. Some days that was the only thing that got him out of bed.

"If you want to go to bed, go to bed," she made her way across the room to perch against the arm of his chair. Josh immediately pulled her into his lap and nuzzled into her neck. " _Josh_ ," she whined. "I have work to do. Go on upstairs, I'll be up in an hour or so."

Josh sighed but let her go, and she pulled him to his feet after her. He leaned down to kiss her, whispering a soft "goodnight" against her lips. She gently brushed a hand down the side of his face as he did so, before turning towards the room they used as their combined office, but Josh truthfully hadn't used in over two years.

He trudged upstairs after making sure the front door was locked—Donna would surly check before she went to bed too, but Josh liked to pretend that he was taking care of his family—turning off some of the downstairs lights as he went. At the top of the stairs, he peeked into the first bedroom like he did every night to make sure the twins were still sleeping, but kept their door open so that the night light in the bathroom was visible.

He stopped for a moment to just look at them, his babies. His professional life used to be all he had, but ever since the election his professional life was virtually nonexistent. He had tried, _tried_ to stick with it; he'd worked as a consultant for a while, even after leaving DC, but as time passed, Josh had found his heart to be less and less in it until he just stopped altogether, no longer returning calls and rejecting appearances to speak about the line of work that used to fulfil him like nothing else.

This, though. This was something else entirely. Being a father wasn't something he had ever prepared for, because he never saw it coming. His work had truly been his life for the better part of twenty years, and he saw no reason for that to change until suddenly it did. When they found out Donna was pregnant everything really fell into place for him. Staying home and being a full-time parent just made sense, especially with Donna becoming one of the most sought-after professionals in Washington. It gave her the opportunity to continue to advance her career while giving him the escape he was craving.

Being a father completed him. He didn't know what true happiness felt like until the doctor handed him his daughter for the first time and he looked up to see Donna holding their son. He threw himself wholeheartedly into parenthood, waking up in the middle of the night for feedings and diaper changes and lullabies, and even once the twins had started sleeping through the night, Josh still found himself waking up to check on them every few hours. Even now that they're six years old, Josh still sometimes comes in to just watch them sleep when he himself has trouble quieting his mind. It's the place where he's happiest. His family is truly the best part of him.

After watching them a moment longer, Josh slipped back across the hallway into his and Donna's bedroom. The only light came from a lamp on Donna's side of the bed, but Josh didn't bother turning on anything else. He pulled off his sweatshirt—there was no use in dressing up when the most he left the house for was to drive the twins to school and go to the store—and jeans and grabbed a pair of flannel pants to wear to bed. He kept the lamp on as he slid into bed, leaving it for Donna whenever she came upstairs. He realized that this was a complete one-eighty from their first four years as a couple, when he was White House Chief of Staff and his duties sometimes kept him at work until after midnight, and even on the lightest days he'd stay up reading briefing memos until long after Donna had gone to bed.

It wasn't his favorite thing ever, but he had gotten used to going to bed alone. At least he still woke up early with her, his body long accustomed to waking up with the sun. Those moments early in the day, where they could lie in bed next to each other quietly, just sharing a space, were some of Josh's favorites. That was their time, where nothing and no one existed outside of the two of them. It grounded him, and gave him the strength he needed to get through the weeks when she was in DC and he was here with the kids.

Although he had done almost nothing all day, as soon as the covers were pulled up around him Josh felt himself being pulled into sleep. Exhaustion had seemed to follow him even into retirement, and ironically Josh just didn't have the energy lately to figure out why that was. After all, this was his life now, and he had another day to get ready for.

 **A/N: Hello, 'tis I. For anyone hoping I was updating NTWWPI, I sincerely apologize. I do fully intend to finish that story at some point, but I don't know what that point will be. In the meantime, my TWW brain has gone crazy with all sorts of post-series ideas, and I just needed to get them out. I have very little plan in terms of how this story is going to go, I'm just going to write and see what happens. Feedback is greatly appreciated (it also makes me update faster)...this is an intro of sorts, and this story has the potential to become a whole monster of a series if I stay properly motivated! If anyone wants to help this happen, please PM me...I could use a sounding board to help me develop ideas as I go!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Megan! I said no TV until your dishes are in the dishwasher, and your backpack is by the front door," Josh called in the general direction of the living room. A head of light brown curls appeared, but the television continued to play in the other room. Josh gave his daughter a look, but she just huffed and moved towards the table where her dinner plate still sat. "This isn't news kiddo, same rules every night," he reminded her as she trudged by. She didn't answer, and Josh had to keep from rolling his eyes. She would be a treat as a teenager.

Once she had done as asked, she went back into the living room without a word. Josh followed behind her and watched as she climbed back onto the couch where her brother was already watching something on the Disney Channel. Megan reached across to grab the remote, ready to take control of the tv, and Josh had to stop himself from jumping in immediately. They were getting to the age where they needed to learn to work out their problems themselves, rather than always letting mommy and daddy play referee.

"No, Megan!" the little boy exclaimed, slapping her hand away and holding the remote as far away from his twin as he could.

"I don't wanna watch this though!"

"I don't care it's my turn to pick!"

"It's not! You always pick!"

"I never pick!"

"Daddy!"

"Dad!"

Josh sighed, pressing his hands to his temples as he glanced at the clock on the microwave. Donna should be home any minute, her flight had landed an hour ago, but from the looks of it he would have one more parenting job before they gave their mother their full attention for the remainder of the night.

"DAD!" Megan's voice continued to raise in volume the longer he left them on their own, so finally he made his appearance known in the other room.

"Now, I _know_ there's no fighting in here, because TV during the week is a treat, and if it's causing you to fight, then it's going off," Josh crossed his arms, looking between his six-year-olds as sternly as possible. He had had lots of practice with the dad voice over the years, and he thought he had gotten it pretty well nailed. Donna still laughed whenever he tried to scold them, though, which was more than a little irritating, but he could appreciate the weirdness of him—Josh Lyman—telling his kids to go sit in time-out. Honestly, there were times he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it too.

"Leo won't give me the remote!" Megan whined. "It's my turn to pick and he's stealing it daddy!"

"It was your turn last night to pick!" Leo defended, slapping Megan's hand again as she tried to reach for the remote.

"I'm not getting sucked into this, guys," Josh responded, walking over to the television and turning it off manually. "If you can't agree, then you can both go upstairs and read until mommy gets home."

Both kids started to protest but Josh silenced them with a look, and they finally slunk upstairs, Megan going at more of a stomp. Josh returned to the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher and wiping down the countertop. He was scrubbing particularly hard at a stain that he must have missed the previous night when he felt two slender arms wrap themselves around his waist.

"My man," Donna spoke softly in his ear, and Josh immediately stopped what he was doing to turn and embrace her fully.

"Hey," he greeted her with a kiss. "How was your day?"

"It was fine, how was home?"

Josh sighed. "We had a bit of a blow up over the tv remote a few minutes ago, so they're upstairs sulking. Otherwise an uneventful day."

"Sulking, huh?" Donna smirked, brushing her fingers through Josh's (ever-receding) hair. "Wonder where they get that?"

"I do _not_ sulk!" Josh protested.

"Oh please, you sulk better than anyone I know," Donna teased. "You could sulk for years if given the proper motivation."

They both turned serious at the implication of Donna's words. It was a conversation they'd had numerous times over the past seven years. Donna wasn't convinced that Josh had really lost all his fight and she seemed to think that he would just wake up one day and realize how ridiculous he was being and dive right back into work. Josh gave her credit for having so much faith in him, but he just didn't see that happening. Sure, there were some days where he missed the adrenaline rush of being so close to the action, or the satisfaction of knowing that he had a hand in changing the world, but those days had passed.

They had made a nice little home for themselves away from DC, in their little suburban home in Connecticut. Josh hadn't really anticipated moving back here one day, but now that he was removed from the constant movement of DC, he couldn't imagine anyplace else he'd want to raise his family.

"That's not what this is, and you know it," he said quietly.

"I know," Donna nodded, pressing her forehead against his, letting them just breathe each other in. The distance was the hardest part of all of this. Josh missed her something fierce during the weeks she was away, especially after being used to seeing her constantly for more or less the entire previous decade. He hated that entire days passed without hugging her, so the moments they spent together were all the more precious.

"It's better this way," he added.

"I had lunch with Sam today," she said instead of responding.

"Oh yeah?" Josh had lost contact with Sam after he left the Santos administration to run for the California Senate seat. Part of Josh still stung from the betrayal of his best friend abandoning them right as they were getting ready to run again, a blow only sharpened when they had lost in an election almost as close as the one they had won four years previous, while Sam had won his own race by an astounding margin. He felt bad, but it's not like he was even in Washington anymore, and they were both too busy to talk on the phone with any regularity.

Donna, on the other hand, saw Sam at least weekly, sometimes even more frequently. They would meet for lunch or dinner or coffee whenever they needed a familiar face in DC. Sam had been one of Donna's most vocal supporters when she had made the decision to run for Congress in 2012, and remained a supporter whenever it came time for her to campaign again. It made Josh happy that his best friend and the love of his life had formed such a tight bond, even if he and Sam weren't as close as they used to be.

"He asked about you," she continued. "Wanted to know when you and the kids will be down to visit again."

"Spring break probably," Josh shrugged. "The kids have school and there's no point going down there while you guys break for the holidays."

"Hmm, yeah he was hoping it'd be a little sooner than that," Donna responded. Josh was about to counter when Donna interrupted. "Like, next week maybe?"

"Next week?" Josh asked, eyebrows raised skeptically. "Donna, Megan and Leo have school. We're not gonna pull them out of school for a few days just because their mom's an important person, we agreed we weren't gonna do that—"

"Not them, just you," Donna clarified. "I'm going to be here next week, I can take them to school and pick them up at the end of the day. You can go see Sam, catch up, take some time for yourself."

"I don't need time for myself, this is time for myself!" Josh argued.

"Your flight leaves at eight thirty on Monday." Donna continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"Donna!"

"What? If I didn't do it, you weren't going to!"

"That's right!" he confirmed. "Because I don't need to go to Washington to see Sam!"

"Oh, would you stop being a baby," Donna huffed. "You think Sam betrayed you, I get it, okay? I was there, I know what happened. It sucks. But Josh, literally everyone else has moved on. Like it or not, Sam is one of your best friends, and you miss him, and he misses you, so this is one of those times where you're just going to have to accept that I know what's best for you and get on with it."

"One of those times, huh?" Josh laughed humorlessly. "Of course everyone has moved on. _I've_ moved on. That's not my life anymore, Donna, you know that. And if you think this is just me being a sore loser, then you don't know me very well."

Donna leaned in closer so that her lips were almost brushing his. In the moment right before he closed the gap to kiss her, she whispered, "Eight thirty on Monday." She pulled back and patted his cheek condescendingly before pulling out of his embrace completely. "I'm going to say hi to the twins."

Josh was left standing there in the kitchen, knowing that there was no way to get out of this trip if his wife had anything to say about it, and a feeling of dread washed over him.

 **Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed already, and to everyone who has PMed me! I already had most of this chapter written when I uploaded the other day, but I wanted to work on the next chapter a bit before I got this one out to ya'll, plus (as most of you probably know) I've also been writing for the JD Post-Ep Challenge, so I've been trying to spread out my posting new content. I absolutely cannot promise that all updates will be this speedy, or that I'll continue to write 15 million stories at once, as I also have to deal with this unfortunate thing called real life. I will do my best to keep this going as often as possible, as often as ideas come to me. Let me know what you think of this chapter! I'm still just setting the stage for the most part, much more to come!**


	3. Chapter 3

_2010_

 _Josh threw back another shot of scotch, no longer able to feel the burn as the liquid slid down his throat. Numb was the only word to describe how he was feeling at the moment. Numb, and completely lost. He didn't understand how this could have happened; they were doing so well! Of course it was going to be a close race, it always was, but they were supposed to win! It wasn't supposed to end like this. It had been just over an hour since Oregon had reported its votes, though it was over by that point anyways, and Josh hadn't moved from his place at the bar since then. He had sent Donna to bed long ago, with a promise that he would follow shortly after her. He didn't much care that he was breaking a promise to the woman who had recently become his wife. He didn't much care about anything at the moment._

 _283_

 _It wasn't as close as it had been against Vinnick, but when you're on the losing side it doesn't much matter if you lose by three votes or thirty: a loss is a loss._

 _Josh had been hopeful going into today, or yesterday, at that point. They were polling nearly even, slightly ahead in most cases, and he really had thought that the stability and successes that President Santos had led them to over the past four years would have been enough to tip the scales in their favor, but no. It just wasn't to be._

 _The President had shaken his hand when CNN called the election for Senator Martin, before going onstage at the hotel in Houston—the very same one they had celebrated in four years previous—to deliver the speech Josh had hoped never to hear him make._

 _It was a small consolation—though to be honest, Josh wasn't entirely sure if it made him feel better at all—that Sam had won his Senate race. Somehow. He had been polling nowhere until the debates, when finally his years in communications paid off and clearly he convinced the people of California that he was the man for the job. Josh didn't blame them one bit; Sam was the man for just about any job. Josh just wished it hadn't taken his best friend and partner in politics away from him._

 _Part of him wished he had told Sam no when Sam asked his permission to run. It would take a heavyweight away from the Santos campaign, and the last time Sam went to California to run for something he didn't come back for four years, until Josh had all but dragged him back to Washington by his hair._

 _But Sam wasn't supposed to win. He wasn't even supposed to make it through the primaries, except the DNC absolutely adored him and put their full support by him immediately. He wasn't supposed to win the general either, and Santos was supposed to be reelected and Sam would rejoin the staff before Christmas, and no one would be any worse for the wear._

 _Except Sam won by a landslide, and Santos lost._

 _Josh didn't even call him that night, because he didn't even know what he would say. He felt like his world was crashing down around him, while it seemed like Sam was finally making leaps forward in his own career. And clearly Sam didn't need him to do it._

 _2017_

Josh looked around at the familiar sight of National. He used to find himself at this airport almost weekly for one reason or another, but this was only the fifth or sixth time he had been here since moving away six years ago. Sam had offered to pick him up, but Josh had waved him off, saying that he wanted time to get settled into the hotel before bothering him, and that he would just take a cab.

The truth was he wanted to put off this meeting for as long as possible. Strange as it seemed, this would be their first encounter without Donna since Sam had left to run for the Senate and Josh was more than a little bit apprehensive. It didn't help that Donna had nearly forced him onto the plane herself, so he was immediately suspicious. Why was it so important to her (and Sam, apparently) that the two of them meet, and why now?

The longer he thought about it, the more anxious he got, and wasn't that absolutely ridiculous, that he was anxious to see the man who had been his best friend since his twenties? How had his life become so devoid of _everything_ that the prospect of spending a few days in the city that used to give him life with one of the people he cared about most in the world was cause to be nervous? Maybe Donna was right, he allowed, maybe he did need this.

He made his way to the exit and hailed a taxi, which took him to his hotel, the cheapest one he could find for the night. While they were far from struggling financially, Donna's Congressional salary being the sole source of income for their family of four didn't allow them the same luxuries they'd had when the government had paid for their travel. Connecticut wasn't a cheap place to live, after all, and Josh didn't even want to _think_ about how expensive college was going to be in twelve years.

He put his bag down on his bed and looked around. He really should just call Sam now and get it over with, instead of putting it off by pacing in his hotel room for another hour. Before he could actually make up his mind though, his cell phone buzzed from where he had tossed it next to his bag. Of course the caller ID told him that it was Sam calling.

"Hello?" he answered.

" _Hey, it's me_ ," Sam greeted needlessly. " _Did you make it to your hotel okay?_ "

"Yeah, yeah, everything's good," Josh responded.

" _Sweet. I'll meet you out front in ten minutes and we can grab lunch somewhere in the area._ _You in the mood for anything in particular?_ "

"No, um, whatever's good with me," Josh stuttered out. Why had he agreed to this again?

" _Great, see you in a bit then!_ "

The line went dead before Josh had a chance to respond, so he resigned himself to a very imminent meeting with Sam Seaborn. For lack of anything better to do, Josh splashed some water on his face to freshen up a bit after the flight, and turned on CNN for a moment before immediately turning it back off again. Man, he really had changed if he couldn't even take five minutes of CNN.

Finally, Josh just decided to get it over with, so he pocketed his phone and wallet and grabbed his room key before making his way towards the elevator. The ride down four floors passed all too quickly for Josh and suddenly he was standing in the lobby again. No sooner had he stepped off the elevator was he slammed into by a weight that was still so familiar, despite the years of distance. Instinctively, Josh returned the hug as Sam practically picked him up in excitement.

"I thought you were meeting me outside?" Josh asked when the other man finally released him.

"I got tired of waiting," Sam shrugged.

"I talked to you like five minutes ago, I'm early, which means you were _way_ early," Josh argued. "You were already outside when you called me, weren't you?"

"Yep," Sam responded unapologetically. "I got out of my meeting early so I figured I'd wait for you in case you got here in early."

Josh sighed but smiled fondly. He could almost forget the sense of foreboding he had felt ever since Donna had forced him on this trip, because being around Sam sent a sense of familiarity he rarely felt these days. If nothing else, it was refreshing.

"Sam, I wasn't coming from Georgetown, I was coming from Connecticut. Delta Airlines pretty much dictated when I would get here."

"Flights get in early all the time though," Sam defended as they started walking towards the entrance of the building. Josh planned to let Sam take the lead here; who knows what was good to eat for lunch these days. "Believe me, I fly a lot more than you do. They always overestimate these things so that if they're running behind you'll never know, but if they're running on time they get in early then you go and tell your friends how awesome the flight was 'cause it got you there a whole ten minutes ahead of schedule."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up," Josh grinned, and Sam smiled back, the banter coming easily between them like it always had.

"You hungry?" Sam asked. "I don't know this area well but did manage to find a deli that looks decent, and I think it has some outdoor space too. It's not too cold yet, is it?"

"Hey, I'm from the northeast, there's no such thing as "cold"," Josh responded. "You're the one who puts on five layers every time it snows."

"I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be," Sam argued in his own defense.

"True," Josh allowed. "But you wouldn't make it one week in a Connecticut winter."

"Also true."

They made the remaining walk to the restaurant in silence. After so many years with two kids as his main source of companionship, Josh had lost comfort with driving a conversation, and Sam didn't seem particularly desperate to break the silence either, so the conversation lulled until they reached the deli Sam had found. It wasn't anything particularly special, but there was plenty of outdoor seating, even during the lunch rush.

They ordered inside at the counter, and Sam shoved his credit card towards the cashier before Josh could so much as open his mouth to offer that he pay for his own.

"I'll get the next one," he said as Sam signed the receipt and they each grabbed a sandwich, but the other man just waved him off. They made their way to a table out front, away from the door to the inside part so they wouldn't be disturbed by other businessmen rushing by on their own lunch break. Josh suspected that Sam also wanted to sit out of the way in the hopes that no one would recognize them. Josh himself may have faded from the memories of most in Washington, but Sam remained a major player in politics, and there was no telling who would try to get his ear while they were out.

"So," Sam began around a bite of his sandwich, "what have you been up to for the last seven years?"

Josh had to tamper down the dad-voice inside him that wanted to remind Sam not to talk with his mouth full. He didn't bother holding back on the eye-roll, however, because it wasn't like they _never_ saw each other, and with how much time Sam spent with Donna, there was likely very little about Josh's last seven years he didn't know.

"Living the dream, Sammy," Josh responded.

"I'm serious, Josh!"

"What do you want me to say?" Josh kept his voice as level as he could, despite the fact that he could feel them both already getting worked up. "You know what I've been up to, heck you probably know better than _I_ do what I've been up to, since apparently Donna knows more about me than I do. I've been raising my kids, Sam. I haven't been leading some top-secret double life if that's what you're worried about."

"Would you even tell me if you were?"

"And we've seen each other at least once a year even since we moved," Josh continued as if Sam hadn't spoken, "which is more than I can say for all the times _you_ packed up and left me here, by the way, so I really don't know what you want from me, Sam."

"We never just talk anymore," Sam complained. "We used to talk all the time. Now, I feel like I don't even know you. And hearing it from Donna doesn't count. I want to hear from _you_ , you ass. You're my best friend. I'm just much better at all this when I have you breathing down my neck. I always have been."

"Yeah, well, you seem to be doing just fine without me," Josh was surprised by the bitterness he could hear in his own voice. He had no reason to be bitter. After all, Sam _was_ his best friend, and he deserved all the successes he had achieved in the past seven years. But a part of Josh knew that he still hadn't gotten over the feeling of betrayal from when Sam handed him his letter of resignation.

"I'm doing alright," Sam allowed, but his tone suggested that there was more he wasn't saying. He, however, quickly changed the topic before Josh had the chance to press. "Now, give me your phone. You have pictures on there of the twins' Halloween costumes and I want to see them."

"Donna didn't show you already?" Josh asked, but did as Sam requested. Most of his cameral roll these days consisted of pictures of his kids, but he didn't think that was very uncommon for a parent of young kids. He didn't talk to the other parent's at school as often as he probably should, but he had definitely overheard them swapping pictures at pickup on multiple occasions.

"She wanted to, but she realized all the pictures were on your phone," Sam replied as he grabbed the device and started swiping through the pictures of Megan dressed up as Eliza Schuyler and Leo as Alexander Hamilton. "Oh my god…who's idea was this?"

"Who's do you think?" Josh couldn't help but smile. "The women run the house. Leo and I are just along for the ride. Megan is already turning into her mother."

"They both look just like you though. Sharpie facial hair aside."

Josh rolled his eyes but truthfully he loved hearing people tell him how much his kids looked like him. At first he had been a bit disappointed that neither had inherited Donna's light hair and blue eyes, but as they grew up, being able to see himself so plainly in his children reminded him of the best thing he had ever done in his life, and filled him with pride.

"I would say that Megan's just going through a phase with this Hamilton thing, but it's been like two years now. I think it's sticking."

"What did Leo want to be?"

"Leo wanted a nap, but we didn't give him that option. He'll be done with trick-or-treating by middle school, I'm calling it now."

"So the next best thing was whatever Megan wanted?"

"He honestly doesn't care, he's more than happy letting her call the shots. We might be reaching the end of that phase though," Josh winced, recalling last Thursday's altercation over the remote.

"Enjoy it while you can," Sam grinned.

"I have enjoyed it. Every minute," Josh said seriously.

"I know you have. Sometimes I still can't believe it, but fatherhood suits you, man."

"Thanks. What about you? Kids on the horizon?"

Sam laughed. "Nah, not quite yet. Still got a couple of things we want to do first, before we settle down completely."

"What could you _possibly_ —"

Josh's question was cut off by the inevitable: some businessman most likely, stopping by the table for a minute of Sam's time, which turned into five minutes, which was really all Sam could spare anyways, because then he needed to get back to the Hill for his one-fifteen meeting. Josh shrugged off his friend's apology for the interruption and told him he'd see him for dinner before Sam rushed off, back into the frenzy that was his daily life in Washington.

That used to be Josh's life too. He wondered if he even missed it.

Josh used the time between lunch and dinner to wander around the nation's capital, to take in the sights he had had a more difficult time enjoying when he was constantly working. He had always turned his nose up a little bit at the sheer volume of tourists DC attracts because they always seemed to be in the way, but now he blended into that very group, as if he had known no other role in his life. He allowed the crowds at the Mall to consume him as he strolled, leisurely in a way he had never used to, one end to the other and back again until he was sure he had memorized every detail of the city he used to call home.

After a few hours—which felt to Josh more like minutes—he began his walk back towards his hotel. Not a short walk by any means, but walking was Josh's primary form of exercise these days, so he could afford to make the moderate trek. He had plans to meet Sam again at seven-thirty, and while their short lunch had done well to ease his nerves about the whole thing, a part of Josh still felt apprehensive that there was still something he wasn't getting, some crucial piece of information to explain the feeling in his gut that this trip _couldn't_ be just that.

He hadn't packed anything to change into for dinner, so he hoped Sam wasn't planning on anything too fancy. Sam had asked him to meet out front at the Capitol, so Josh estimated he had another hour before he left. He thought about calling home to see what they were up to, but it was coming up on dinner time and it was a school night, and the last thing he wanted to do was throw a wrinkle into the twins' routine when his absence was already vastly different than what they were used to. So instead, he resigned himself to switching on the TV again, something he had done very little of since having kids.

After flipping through the limited channels available on the hotel TV, Josh eventually settled on the Food Network and questioned what his life had become that he actually considered this acceptable entertainment. He had gotten soft, and he knew it; he was so out of practice that the thought of watching the news made him sick, so instead he hid in the tedium of programming made for forty-year-old soccer moms. Sitting here in DC, he thought he understood what Donna meant when she accused him of hiding. He _was_ hiding; for whatever reason he had decided that he wanted no part of the political world anymore, despite politics still being his wife's occupation. He felt guilty as he realized how little it must feel like he'd been there for her since she'd made the decision to run for Congress in their district, but all today had done was remind him how much he had changed since 2010. He was a different person now. Apparently, one who would rather watch The Pioneer Woman than hear about what had happened in the world today.

His phone buzzed from where he had plugged it in on the nightstand and Josh turned his head to check. It was a message from Sam, and Josh noticed that it was nearly time for him to head out if he wanted to be on time.

 _Finished up early today! Feel free to come over whenever. I can give you a tour of my office if you want! :)_ _-Sam_

Josh rolled his eyes at his friend's use of emoticons, something that Donna had also taken to but he himself hadn't quite figured out. Of course, he had seen Sam's office on numerous occasions; every time he and the twins visited on school breaks they made sure to stop by Uncle Sammy's office to say hi.

 _Okay. I'm at the hotel, I'll leave now and be there soon._

 _Yay! :):):)_

Josh rolled his eyes again, but also found himself smiling at Sam's childlike enthusiasm. Despite everything, it was good to see that even after all his years in politics Sam hadn't lost that; his eternal optimism had always been one of Josh's favorite things about him.

The walk back towards the Capitol went much quicker than Josh had anticipated, and he was not at all surprised to find Sam sitting on a bench out front waiting for him.

"Isn't it a little cold to be sitting out here at night, California?" Josh greeted as he approached.

Sam looked up and flashed Josh a happy smile that made Josh smile back on reflex.

"I told you the cold doesn't bother me anymore," Sam responded.

"Okay, Elsa."

"Elsa?" Sam asked with amusement.

"From Frozen? I guess you wouldn't get it."

"Oh I got the reference, I'm just surprised to hear you of all people referencing a Disney Princess."

"I have a six-year-old daughter. We sing _Let It Go_ in the car on the way to school. I've got it memorized," Josh said proudly.

"Dude, you have got to get out more," Sam teased back.

"Isn't that what this is?" Josh asked as they started walking. "You and Donna conspiring to get my social life back on track?"

"Sort of," Sam said cautiously, the same tone from earlier that made Josh think there was something he wasn't being told. "It's…hey, is this okay? I figured we could keep it casual." They had stopped in front of a bar that was decently crowded for a weeknight, but not so much so that they'd have any difficulty getting a table.

"Yeah, perfect," Josh agreed as Sam held the door open and they stepped inside. It was well-lit and surprisingly quiet, definitely a place targeted towards Washington's more elite rather than the college students, for which Josh was grateful. They seated themselves in a booth along the edge of the room and a waiter was there immediately with menus and glasses of water. They each ordered a beer to start out with and the server left them to peruse the menus before ordering.

Sam talked about his day, filled Josh in on the meetings he'd taken, some with people Josh knew from his own days in government, some whose names he recognized, and some who were completely unfamiliar to him. There had been a time where he could name every member of Congress, every key staffer in the White House and on the Hill, and every major player in the Democratic Party. Despite having been gone for almost seven years, it still shocked him just how out of touch he had become.

When the waiter came back, Sam ordered a burger, and looked surprised when Josh ordered a salad.

"Donna's been on me a lot, especially since I don't get out as much as I used to," he explained, and Sam nodded in acceptance of his explanation. He didn't mention that he was worried about something stupid like a heart attack preventing him from seeing his kids grow up. His own father had missed his wedding, and Josh was already working from the disadvantage of being almost fifty when his kids were born. If eating healthy gave him more years with his family, then that was a small price to pay.

"So you really haven't thought about coming back to work?" Sam asked as they waited on their meal.

"Not even a little," Josh responded, which was mostly the truth. He thought about it very rarely, and when he did, it was usually accompanied by such a feeling of panic and despair that discouraged him from that line of thought in the future. "I'm so much better at this than I ever was at politics. I feel so much more useful at home."

"I doubt that's true," Sam responded. "You're an amazing dad, like if all dads loved their kids like you love the twins the women's groups would have significantly less to complain about. But I think you're selling yourself short. You're the smartest politician I've ever met, and I think I've met them all by now. And I know for a fact a lot of people would agree with me."

"I don't know who you've been talking to, but somehow I doubt that. And if you're using _Donna_ as a source for my abilities, then I think you may be encountering some bias."

"The party misses you, Josh," Sam argued. "The party _needs_ you. For seven years now the Republicans have had the House, Senate, _and_ White House!"

"I don't know what you want me to do about it," Josh commented as their dinners were placed in front of them. He nodded at the waiter in thanks as Sam continued talking.

"Come back! Get back in the game! Do _anything_ ," Sam practically begged. "Josh, I know you're upset about what happened seven years ago—"

"Oh, enough already!" Josh interrupted. "You and Donna both! I'm not just sulking because we lost, okay? I got over it like everyone else did, I'm a big boy."

"Well I'm not over it!" Sam exclaimed. "It wasn't...that wasn't how it was supposed to happen! And I've spent every minute since that election _angry_ because the wrong guys won, and then they won again, but there's no one here who will _do_ anything about it!"

"What the hell do you have to be mad about?" Josh argued, letting his anger show just a bit for the first time since that night. "You won! You left and we lost and you won, so while you're out there making a difference or whatever the hell you do, the rest of us got sent home!"

"Oh yeah, you're clearly over it," Sam rolled his eyes. "For god's sake Josh, I _asked_ you if I should run, and do you remember what you said? You said, 'go for it'. You said you couldn't think of anyone better for the job, and you told me to go for it. I wouldn't have done it if you and the President hadn't both given me your blessings, but you did. So you don't get to be pissed about it now, okay? At least, you don't get to be pissed at me. Anyways, I didn't ask Donna to get you down here so we could fight."

"So you admit you and Donna are conspiring behind my back?"

"Of course we are, someone needs to," he replied easily.

"Well?"

"The country's a mess, Josh. You pretend that you're detached from it all but you know it just as well as I do. Someone needs to step up. Someone in _this party_ needs to step up."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Why was it so important for you and Donna to get me down here now?"

This was the moment of truth, the moment Josh had been waiting for and dreading since Donna had forced him on the plane that morning.

"Oh, 'cause the New Hampshire filing deadline is coming up soon."

"The _what_?" Josh asked slowly, hoping against hope that this wasn't happening.

"New Hampshire, the filing deadline," Sam repeated. "It's in two weeks, and I want you to come with me."

"Come… _with_ …you…?"

"It's time Josh," Sam said. "I'm running for President, and I want you to run my campaign."

 **Annnnnd we are in business people! Let me know what you thought of this! Also, that was my big grand idea for the story so from here on we're just going to be flying by the seat of our pants, which means I welcome any and all ideas for different things that could happen! I may use it, I may not, but hearing what y'all think will certainly help me push this story forward!**


	4. Chapter 4

Josh slowly opened the front door and dropped his overnight bag inside. The kids were at school, and Donna would most likely be at her district office until it was time to pick them up, so Josh had the house to himself for a few hours.

He was still processing what Sam had asked him at dinner last night. All he had been able to do was stammer out a laugh of disbelief and ask Sam if he had lost his mind. _No way_ was he getting back into politics, and even if he was, it wasn't going to be a national election. Didn't Sam remember what had happened last time? He had let everyone down. Sam had just told him, _begged_ him to think about it, to talk it over with Donna (who of course had been in on the whole thing), and give him a call later in the week. Josh was ready to make the call now, because there was absolutely no way he was doing it.

For lack of anything better to do, he sat down in his favorite chair in the living room and closed his eyes. As an afterthought, he turned on the TV for some background noise while he rested. As it happened, Donna must have been the last one to watch down here because it was already turned to CNN, where the midday analysts were discussing President Butler's remarks from a rally the previous night. He stopped himself from changing the channel, swallowing back the nausea at what he knew it meant.

That man didn't deserve to be president. If they had lost to another candidate like Vinnick, well, Josh could have stomached that. Hell, after working with Vinnick himself so closely as Secretary of State for four years Josh had come to accept that at the very least the man was brilliant and had morals and the country could do a lot worse. But someone like Baker? Who represented the most intolerant in the country, and had won election and reelection on a campaign of hate? It made him sick that the country had stooped so low.

He growled in frustration and picked up a pillow to throw across the room. Then he threw another, and another, and then he was out of pillows so he stood up, suddenly too angry to sit still anymore. The TV continued to drone as he stomped back towards the kitchen, looking for any outlet for his emotions. He needed to get out, he needed to not be here anymore, as everything he had tried to suppress for the past seven years was suddenly staring him in the face. The frustration. The hurt. The anger. The guilt.

The guilt most of all.

He was on his way upstairs when the front door opened.

"Josh?"

Josh paused in confusion. He knew he hadn't been home long, the twins wouldn't be out of school for another two hours at least, so what was Donna doing here so soon?

"Josh, where are you?"

Josh trotted back down the stairs to find Donna checking for him in the living room. She was turning off the TV as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hi," he said softly, allowing her to turn around and greet him with a kiss. "You're here early."

"Sam called," she responded simply.

"Oh, for god's sake," Josh snapped, stepping back and bringing his hands to his hair. "Will you two stop it already? I can make my own decisions, okay? I can take care of myself. I don't need my wife looking out for my best interests or whatever the hell you think you're doing. The answer's no, okay? So tell Sam to just drop it."

"Okay, first of all, chill," Donna instructed. "I don't know what's the matter with you right now, but if you want to have an actual adult discussion about this, I'm more than happy to participate. But if you're going to be like this, I'm going to get some work done before I pick the kids up."

"I can pick the kids up," Josh responded automatically.

"Or you could pull your head out of your ass and be a grown up."

"Fine," Josh grunted, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and sitting down. "What do you want me to say?"

"Why are you so opposed to working with Sam?"

"I'm not opposed to working with Sam, I'm opposed to working in politics."

"Or working at all, apparently."

"Is that what this is about?" Josh asked. "Do you want me to go back to work? Because I thought we agreed that I'd stay home with the kids while they were young, but if you want me to go back to work there's about a million things I could—"

" _No_ , that's not what this is about, are you even listening to yourself?" Donna pulled a chair close to his so that she could hold his hands. "Josh, I'm _worried_ about you. Now that the kids are at school all day, you just sit around here, no direction. You used to be the most passionate person I know, honey, what happened?"

"I'm not that person anymore, I guess," Josh shrugged, but her words struck a chord in him. He knew he had been in a bit of a slump lately, but he didn't think it was anything to worry about. "Donna, I appreciate the concern, but I'm—"

"Do _not_ say you're fine, Josh, please don't. You're not fine, you're not _happy_. You need something to work for, you always have. And twin babies at home filled that drive for awhile but now you need something else. Please," she asked softly, "at least think about it? Really think about it? For me?"

Josh sighed, because when she said things like _that_ he had very little choice; he would do anything for her.

"Okay," he surrendered. "I'll think about it. I'm not making any promises though."

. . .

Josh was in the car when his phone rang. He was tempted to let it go to voicemail, as he had the last five times Sam had called since Monday, but for whatever reason he hit the speaker button on the steering wheel.

"Hello?"

" _Josh!_ "

"That's what I've heard."

" _I didn't expect you to actually answer._ "

"Disappointed?" Josh asked, turning towards the now-familiar exit.

" _Not at all! I was just checking in to see how, y'know…_ "

"I'm still thinking about it, Sam," Josh sighed. "I promise I'm actually thinking about it. I just…it's not that simple. But I promise I'll let you know as soon as I do."

" _Okay, thanks. I just…I want to do this, Josh. But I only want to do it if you will. So no pressure or anything._ "

Christ. He really didn't need this guilt trip.

"Right. I gotta go, Sam. I'll call you."

" _Okay, bye Josh._ "

The line went dead just as Josh started the drive up the long driveway to the Bartlets' New Hampshire farm. One of the many perks of living in New England again was that his family was now an easy two hour drive away from Manchester, and they took advantage of it as often as possible. Strangely—or maybe not—of all the people Josh had worked with in Washington, it was the Bartlets he had remained closest with. Megan and Leo loved weekends spent with Grandpa Jed and Grandma Abbey (and Josh didn't think he would ever get past the absurdity of his kids referring to the former President of the United States as "grandpa") and Josh had become closer to the former President and First Lady than he had been able to while working with them professionally.

He hadn't even shut the car off when the front door opened and Abbey rushed out to greet him.

"Josh!" she called. He unfastened his seatbelt and slid out of the car where he was met with the kind of warm hug only a mother can give. "I'm so glad you called! It's been too long!"

"It's been like a month, Abbey," Josh reminded her with a smile. "With the kids in school, plus Donna in Washington half the time, it's a lot harder to coordinate schedules."

"And it only gets harder as they get older."

"Don't remind me," Josh groaned as she led him into the house.

"Jed's in the study. God only knows what he does in there these days. Retirement still doesn't suit him well; you'd think after ten years he'd start to realize that no one's going to call him back into the fray, but still he keeps going."

"Working on another Nobel Prize, maybe," Josh joked, but he felt a pang of guilt at her words. Even after serving as President of the United States for eight years, here was Jed Bartlet, desperate for ways he could continue to contribute to the country, while he sat at home despite being perfectly capable of continuing what they had started back in 1998. But he wasn't Jed Bartlet, he reminded himself. Not even close.

"Go chat," Abbey told him. "I'll call you both when lunch is ready."

"Yes ma'am," Josh replied automatically and Abbey rolled her eyes. Old habits die hard, and both Josh and Donna still found themselves struggling to adhere to the former President and First Lady's request that they call them Jed and Abbey, especially when they were at home.

Josh took his leave of the kitchen and meandered down the hall to where the President's office was. The door was open (Abbey's condition was that if he was going to lock himself away in his study for hours at a time, he would at least do it with the door open, now that he wasn't responsible for state secrets), so Josh tapped lightly on the doorframe to announce his presence before walking right in.

"Josh! Good to see you," President Bartlet rose as Josh entered the room. Josh reached out for a handshake, but the President pulled him in for a hug instead. That was a change Josh had gotten used to. No longer constrained by the professional environment of the Oval Office, the president was a hugger. It came as very little surprise to Josh; the man was a father and a grandfather, and now that Josh had kids of his own he definitely understood the appeal of familial affection.

"You too, sir."

"I take it from your tone on the phone this isn't just a social visit?" he dove straight in, choosing to ignore that Josh called him 'sir'. Josh would warm up once they were immersed in conversation, it just still took him a few minutes to remember that they weren't boss and employee anymore.

"Not exactly," Josh shook his head and took a seat on the couch pushed against the far wall, and Jed sat down next to him. "I kind of need some advice."

"Oh?"

"Sam and Donna have this crazy idea that I need to get out more," Josh started.

"You do need to get out more," Jed interrupted.

"They're worried about me, or something," Josh continued as if the interruption hadn't occurred. "They want me…" he let out a sigh, "they want me to get back into politics."

The former President was quiet for a moment as he processed Josh's words. "And you still don't want to?" he asked finally.

"No!" Josh responded automatically. "I left Washington for a reason, I'm done with that life. It works for Sam and Donna, but I feel like such an outsider there now. I went down there this week, to talk to Sam. It was…it was like a completely different city now. The world's changed; _I've_ changed."

"Josh," Jed stopped him. "I've known you for almost two decades now and let me tell you, you haven't changed at all. No, no, let me finish," he instructed when Josh was about to interrupt. "You've grown up well, Josh. Your priorities are different now than they were in your thirties. But you're still the same person. There's nothing fundamentally different about you that makes you incapable of being as successful as you were when you were younger. And I know you know that. So, what's really the problem, Josh?"

Josh deflated, knowing that his former boss was right.

"Sam…Sam wants to run for president," Josh answered. "And he wants me to run his campaign."

"And you don't think you can do it," Jed finished for him. "Where in the world did your confidence go?"

"What do you mean?"

"You used to think you could take on the world and win, Josh," Jed explained. "And you did it. Over and over again you just _willed_ things to go your way. You just had this idea that opposition was just there waiting for you to defeat it. That's what made you so great, son, that sense that the world would bend to your will. What happened?"

"Luck ran out I guess," Josh shrugged with a self-deprecating smile.

"That's a load of BS and you know it," Jed scolded. "Luck had nothing to do with it. Josh, you took a low-ranking, three-term Congressman from anonymity to the White House in less than a year. No one else could have done something like that. That wasn't luck. That was you and Matt Santos deciding that you simply weren't going to be beat."

"And yet, we did get beat."

"No," Jed became serious, ensuring that Josh met his eyes. " _He_ got beat. The Democratic Party got beat. You didn't run his reelection campaign, Josh. You were too busy running the country. Anyone trying to pin that one on you is just looking for a scapegoat to cover up that fact that the entire party was in chaos. And Sam knows that better than anyone. Josh. He asked _you_. Sam believes in you, or else he would have asked someone else. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"I don't want to let him down," Josh said quietly, giving voice to the nagging thought that had occupied his mind ever since his trip to DC, the thought that squashed down any spark of hope that maybe this was his chance to redeem himself. Because if he failed, it wouldn't be himself he let down, it would be Sam, and he just couldn't have that on his conscience too.

"You won't. You could never." It was said with such certainty that Josh almost believed it.

"I might."

"Josh," the former President waited for Josh to meet his gaze again. "You _won't_. Now, if you really don't want to do this, if you're really happy sitting at home and avoiding watching the news for the rest of your life, well, that's your choice. But fear, Josh, that isn't you. Stop running away from this just to avoid failure. Josh Lyman doesn't avoid failure. Josh Lyman takes failure and whacks it over the head with a republican."

"Do you really think we can do this?" Josh asked softly, visions of himself and Sam out on the campaign trail again entering his mind for the first time in a long, long time.

"Josh, you and I both know that there is _no one_ in this country more fit to be President than Sam Seaborn. And you're the guy to make it happen. It won't be easy, but you've been here before. This is what you're good at, Josh. This is what you were born to do. You and Sam? Yeah, I think you'll be unstoppable."

Jed stood up and moved towards the door.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, Josh. You're a grown man, and you can make your own decisions. I know there's a lot to consider before you pack up and go on a national campaign. But if you decide to do this," Jed paused, looking back at Josh, still seated on the couch, "I don't have a doubt in my mind that you can win. Now, Abbey should have lunch ready soon and I'd say it's time we go and harass her. Plus, you've still got to show us how those Halloween costumes Megan was so excited about turned out."

And with that, he left the room, leaving Josh sitting there, mind racing to keep up with everything that had been said. There was fear, now that he had allowed himself to admit exactly what his hesitations were. There was apprehension, that no matter how he tried, he was damaged gods, that Sam deserved a better campaign than Josh could give him. But underneath it all, there was hope. It was small, but most definitely there, slowly growing as Jed's words sunk in in waves. He was the smartest man Josh had ever known, and he had seemed so sure that Josh found it difficult to doubt his own abilities. What he had ever done in his life to be blessed with such an incredible mentor, he would never know, but for now all he could do was thank the heavens for Jed Bartlet and get ready to pull up all the pictures he had taken of the twins in the last three and a half weeks.

And he would just see where it goes from there.

 **I had literally zero idea where I was going with this chapter when I started, and tbh I wrote a lot of this at like 2am so I'm still not entirely positive, but feedback, as well as suggestions for the future of this story, are, as always much appreciated! Also, I have the next chapter written, but beyond that the story is a mystery even to me (I wasn't kidding when I said my brilliant idea began and ended with Sam wanting to run for President), so your comments/feedback/ideas/suggestions/whatever are really helpful in sparking my inspiration! Feel free to drop me a message on here, or on instagram ( .wing) if you wanna chat!**


	5. Chapter 5

The quick visit to New Hampshire had definitely done Josh good. After lunch he had stayed to chat for a few hours longer with both Bartlets, though the topic of Sam's potential campaign or Josh returning to politics never came up again. They spent the time looking through the pictures Josh had taken since the last time they had visited. He showed them the twins' Halloween costumes, which Jed thoroughly appreciated, and pictures from the day he and Donna had taken them to pick apples and choose their pumpkins to carve. Donna had dressed them in matching coats that day, and while Josh usually rolled his eyes at such attempts to play up the twin thing, even he had to admit that it made for some pretty cute pictures. Not that he would ever admit that to anymore.

Abbey then started digging through her own photo albums to share pictures of the girls, back when their own family had spent fall weekends outside, dating all the way back to when Jed was still serving in Congress and before. Josh felt his stress melt away as they swapped stories about their children and he could allow himself to just be a parent. He hadn't gotten to know any of the other parents in Leo and Megan's year, and he had regrettably fallen out of touch with most of his friends from his previous occupation, so his social outlets were limited. Donna and Sam might have a point, he allowed.

He made it back to Hartford before school dismissal, so he went straight there to wait in the parking lot and allow Donna a little bit longer at her office. His conversation with Jed had left him with a lot to think about for sure. It was hard to hold onto his doubts with the former President giving him so much encouragement, but the feeling of sitting at that bar that early November morning in 2010 was permanently burned into his very being. He couldn't feel like that again, and he wouldn't ever allow Sam to feel those things. He was too good at what he did, he deserved the best campaign that had ever been run, and Josh wasn't sure that he could give it to him even if he wanted to.

The bell rang and Josh unlocked the car doors as grade schoolers flooded from the building. Leo was the first to the car and Josh waited a moment to let his son try to buckle himself into his booster seat before getting out of the car to help. Megan could usually do it by herself and prided herself on independence, but Leo didn't mind letting his parents help him out. Josh and Donna were trying to rid him of that particular habit, but sometimes it was just in everyone's best interest to save the teaching moments for another time. Josh had entirely too much on him mind at the moment to even think about being a patient instructor, which led to another wave of guilt, even as the shout of "DADDY" coming from behind him interrupted his thoughts.

Megan reached up for a hug which Josh returned after he had finished securing Leo into his car seat. He lifted her into the car and she climbed into her own seat and, after a few unsuccessful attempts, buckled herself in.

Megan chattered on in the back seat for the duration of the short ride to their house. She liked to give a play-by-play of everything that had happened that day, and while Josh loved listening to his kids talk, he would no doubt hear the same stories again later when she shared everything with Donna, so he only half listened to the tales of first grade.

Donna's car was already in the driveway when Josh pulled in, which surprised him a bit, since she had already worked shorter days at the beginning of the week to make up for Josh's trip to DC.

The twins must have noticed too, because they were out of their seats before Josh had even turned the car off, and his warnings to wait fell on deaf ears as they started running towards the house the moment the doors were unlocked. Josh sighed and grabbed their forgotten backpacks as he made his own way towards the house, through the door they had left open.

"What happened to everyone is responsible for their own backpack?" Josh called, leaving his shoes at the door and heading towards the kitchen. He was about to scold them again when he saw an all-too-familiar figure sitting at the table with Donna, a twin sitting on each knee.

"Hey Josh, long time no see," Sam greeted, as though him showing up unannounced on a Thursday—though, Josh supposed, Donna was probably part of this plan too—was the most normal thing in the world. Josh could count on one hand the number of times Sam had visited them up in Connecticut since they moved, so he had no doubt this was another ambush.

"What are you doing here?" Josh didn't bother hiding the annoyance in his voice, even as Donna shot him a look. He had told Sam that very morning to give him some time, and Sam had promised to do so. Apparently not.

"I decided it's been way too long since I've seen my favorite munchkins," Sam responded instead, poking each of the kids in the side and causing them to giggle. He really didn't get to see them often enough, and under any other circumstances Josh would be thrilled to have him spend time with the twins, but he found himself all-too aware of Sam's ulterior motives.

"Why don't I help Megan and Leo get started on homework while you two talk," Donna interrupted, despite the immediate protests from the six-year-olds. "If you get everything done now you can play with him after dinner."

That got their attention and they were up in an instant, so Josh took the opportunity to lead Sam into Donna's office. He closed to door behind them, bracing himself for a moment before turning to face his friend.

"I told you I was thinking about it," he said quietly.

"In fairness, I was already at the airport when I called you," Sam explained. "Donna thought you might need a push."

"I don't need a push, I needed space!" Josh argued. "Three days. Three days is all I've had to process this. You two have been planning this for I don't even know how long, so excuse me for trying to weigh my options before abandoning my kids for a year to trek around the country and shake hands with people I swore I'd never speak to again and for what? Another shot at glory? Sam, I don't even know who else is running! That's how out of touch I am with all this; if you asked me right now who's our competition, I couldn't name a single one of them. I don't know the important issues, I don't even know which districts are democratic these days! If you're going to do this, you deserve to do this right. And that's not me, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm not your guy."

Sam was quiet for a moment, and Josh thought—hoped—that that would be that.

"Baker's not running," Sam began. "Russell declared a few months ago but his political career has been over since the last time you beat him; no one's taking him seriously. Senator Burns from Illinois, Governor Morrison from New Jersey, a junior Congressman from Arizona…Josh, not a single one of them is good enough to be President. This race is wide open."

"They've been campaigning for a while at least then," Josh countered. "They've got to be lightyears ahead on funding and they've already got real support bases. If you get in now you'll be working with a handicap."

"The state of California reelected me last year with almost sixty percent of the vote. I'm not worried about finding support."

"What about Ainsley? Is she actually on board with this?"

"It was her idea," Sam replied. "Months ago. Said if I ran for President she would vote for a Democrat for the first time in her life."

"Really?" Josh was surprised. Clearly the years spent in democratic White Houses had started to get to her.

"She's always been supportive, Josh," Sam argued. "She's ready for it."

"You weren't there last time," Josh reminded him. "It's different than it was in ninety-eight, and way different than it was when we were already in the White House. Leo took the brunt of the crap that goes along with campaigning so that we could focus on what we did best. This time it would be you and me in the middle of it all. Nothing to hide us. You may think you're ready for it, until it all comes at you at once."

"Bring it on," Sam didn't even hesitate. "Someone has to do it. Someone has to step up. What are you so worried about?"

"That we'll lose again."

Josh hadn't actually meant to say that out loud. It was one thing to share his insecurities with President Bartlet, who had become more of a father to him than anything. It was another to dump his issues on Sam, right before the man was about to embark on one of the most challenging journeys of his life.

"Josh," Sam spoke slowly, as if worried that he might set him off, "do you still blame yourself for Santos losing?"

Josh shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "I got him into it. I was the one by his side the entire time. And at the end of the day we couldn't get it done."

Sam huffed out a laugh of disbelief. "Josh, you didn't even work on his reelection campaign!" he exclaimed. "You were too busy, you know, helping him run the country! The DNC let you down, you didn't do anything wrong."

"The DNC didn't seem to see it that way," Josh reminded him.

"Well, screw the DNC then!" Sam argued, starting to get fired up. "Your work in the first election? That's Josh Lyman all the way. And that's who I want with me fourteen months from now when god willing I take the oath of office. Josh, we'd be the greatest team this party has seen since Bartlet and Leo. We owe it to the party."

"We don't owe anything to the party," Josh responded, but he could feel his walls beginning to break down hearing Sam's passion, the same passion that had kept Josh focused no matter how bleak things had seemed during Bartlet's first year in office.

"Haffley's running," Sam said, and Josh felt like he had been zapped. Of course that was a name he knew, of course that was a name that would get his attention. He had battled Haffley for years, both as deputy and during the later two years of his tenure as Chief of Staff when the Republicans took back control of the House. "Haffley's running, and he's the easy frontrunner for the nomination, and none of our guys can beat him. I can. Josh, we can't let Jeff Haffley become President. _You_ can't."

"And you think I'm the guy to stop it?"

Sam smiled. "No one hates Haffley as much as you do. I don't think there's anyone in the country with as much motivation."

"Except you," Josh reminded him.

"Ahh, I don't care who I'm up against. I can beat them all."

"Y'know, you're the first candidate I've ever worked for who actually started out thinking he could win," Josh commented. "That's probably not a bad place to begin."

Sam's face lit up when he realized what Josh was saying, and Josh couldn't help but smile in return. "So you'll do it?" he asked, practically vibrating with excitement.

"I need you to promise me something," Josh stopped him.

"What?"

"If at any point you need to fire me, do it," he instructed.

"What do you mean?"

"You deserve the best campaign this country has ever seen," Josh said. "And if I'm not giving you that, if I _can't_ give you that, you need to fire me. I don't care if we're friends, I won't let you get dragged down by my mistakes. I can't do that Sam."

"It won't come to that," Sam responded. "You're the best there is, and if this campaign fails, it won't be because of you. So if we go down, we go down together. But that's not gonna happen."

"It might," Josh protested. "Sam, you need—"

"Do you regret it?" Sam asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Do you regret it? Any of it? Becoming a politician, leaving Hoynes to work for Bartlet, leaving Bartlet to elect Santos? Anything?"

"Of course not, but—"

"Because I don't regret a thing," Sam continued. "You brought me into this too, you know? Twice you came and got me, and both times I trusted you, and both times turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. Even when I wasn't sure, you believed I was the right man for the job. Now I know it too. It's my turn to get you this time. Right now, I believe in you as much as you believed in me, and as much as I believe in myself. Okay? At the end of it all, it's gonna be you and me standing up there. There's no one, and I mean no one, else I want to do this with. So all that's left is you believing in yourself. What do you say? You in?"

Josh took in the seriousness of Sam's expression, coupled with the excitement and determination in his eyes. He was right when he said there was no one in the country Josh wanted less to see as president than Jeff Haffley, and Josh had no doubt that Sam was the right man for the job. And Sam, for whatever crazy reason, really believed that Josh was the right man for the job too.

"I say," Josh took a deep breath before finally relaxing and allowing a smile to take over his features, "let's go to New Hampshire."

 **Sorry for the delay! I had this chapter written when I posted the last chapter, but for some reason had it in my head that I wanted to tweak some parts of it. Ultimately, I didn't change all that much. I've started the next chapter, but just barely, so I make no promises as to the timing of my next update (especially bc I have zero idea what's going to happen in the next chapter whoops). As always, feedback is much appreciated, as are any ideas you guys have for this story! I think I have a general direction to take this, so thank you to everyone who's messaged me so far!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So you know those chapters that start off in one place and then end up 300 miles away by the time you're done? That's what this chapter was. I would also like to not that the vast majority of this was written between 2 and 5:30 this morning because I am a disaster of a human, so if anything in this chapter doesn't make sense, that's why. So, yknow...hope y'all enjoy it.**

 _2009_

 _"Josh, can I talk to you a minute?"_

 _Josh glanced up from his computer to where Sam was standing in the doorway to his office. He gestured for him to enter, but to wait a minute. Sam sat down across from him as Josh finished typing an email to the DNC chair. It was crazy just how quickly four years—he supposed it was still only three years at this point, but still—had flown by. It seemed like just yesterday he had been sleeping four hours a night in run-down motel rooms with Congressman Matt Santos, and already it was time to start talking campaign again._

 _"What's up man?" Josh addressed his friend as he hit send._

 _"I think…I think I could be doing more."_

 _"More as in…?"_

 _"Mitchell's Senate seat," Sam got straight to the point._

 _"You want to challenge a sitting Senator from your own party?" Josh asked in disbelief._

 _"He's not running," Sam responded. "He hasn't announced yet, but he will soon, and he said I should try to run for it. I know there's no shortage of good Democratic candidates in California, and the odds of me even getting the nomination aren't exactly great, but I think I should at least try, you know? And if it turns out to be a bust, I drop out and come back, no big deal."_

 _"And you'll actually come back this time? This isn't just a clever ruse to go back to the private sector without actually leaving for the private sector?" Josh teased, but only partially teasing. Even years later, he still remembered the phone call, only a few days after Sam had lost in the 47_ _th_ _, where Sam had told him that he wasn't coming back. That he had decided when he left that it would be for good._

 _"Josh, no!" Sam exclaimed. "God, no. This is different, I promise. I'm in too deep, this is my life now, and I'm done pretending otherwise. I swear: I lose in California, I come straight back. But only if you and the President agree. You know I'd never do something like this without your blessing."_

 _"Sounds like you've been thinking about this," Josh observed._

 _"I have. Even before Mitchell called I knew I wanted to do something like this someday, and this just seemed like the perfect opening. So, what do you think?"_

 _"I think," Josh said slowly. "That California would be seriously lucky to have you representing them."_

 _"Is that a yes?" Sam asked hopefully, and Josh had to smile at his earnestness._

 _"That's absolutely a yes," Josh replied. "This is an awesome opportunity for you Sam, you gotta do what you gotta do. I can talk to the President if you want, or if you want to tell him, I can be there when you do?"_

 _"I'll ask him," Sam responded._

 _"He won't try to stop you," Josh assured him. "I'm serious, he'll love the idea. Will probably end up spending half his own campaign in California just so he can campaign for you."_

 _"Oh, I wouldn't ask him to do that," Sam argued._

 _"Sam, seriously," Josh stopped him. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather have sitting in that seat. We're here for you every step of the way."_

 _"Thanks," Sam said, suddenly serious. "I mean it Josh. Thank you for everything. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, and I definitely wouldn't be any good at this if it wasn't for you."_

 _"Nah," Josh waved him off. "You're a natural politician. You could only deny your inherent gift for so long, I just, I dunno, gave you the push, or whatever. Go talk to Ronna, I think the President should have a free minute soon."_

 _"Thanks Josh," Sam stood up to leave._

 _"Sam?" Josh stopped him at the door._

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I'm proud of you."_

 _Sam gave him a smile which Josh returned, as the other man closed the door behind him._

 _2017_

The last week had been crazy in a way Josh hadn't experienced in almost seven years.

He and Sam had driven up to New Hampshire first thing the next morning, and had paid another surprise visit to the Bartlets on the way back just because they could, and because Josh thought Sam could benefit from some last-minute words of advice from their mentor before embarking on this herculean mission, and because honestly he'd rather let Abbey feed him than stop at McDonalds or something.

They went straight to the airport when they got back to Connecticut to fly out to California for Sam's official announcement, then back to the east coast to scout their initial home base in Manchester, then down to DC because Sam still had a day job and Josh needed to start putting together a staff.

Donna was back in DC, too, and Josh had been worried at first about getting someone to watch the kids, but apparently talking to his friends behind his back was his wife's new favorite activity, because apparently Zoey had come up from DC the other day to babysit. Josh had protested that it wasn't fair to ask Zoey to drop everything to take care of their kids for them, but Donna had brushed him off.

"You've committed to this now, so we're going to make it work whether you like it or not. Sam would kill me if I let you back out over something as silly as a babysitter."

Josh had to admit she had a point, as she usually does. The kids loved Zoey and she loved them, so he didn't imagine it would be a real hardship for any of them to spend some time together. Besides, he had known when he agreed to go to New Hampshire with Sam exactly what he was committing to. This was hardly his first campaign, and he was prepared to spend much of the next year or so away from home. Granted, last time he hadn't had much of a home to go back to even if he had wanted to. Just another way in which his life had changed drastically in the last ten years.

It was almost overwhelming, all the things to think about, that he was unused to thinking about. Sam had given him a list of suggested people to reach out to to supplement his existing staff in DC. Most were names that Josh recognized from various points in his twelve years in the White House, which didn't surprise him all that much. Sam valued loyalty, so of course he would have stayed in touch with everyone he had ever worked with. There must have been almost a hundred names on the list, and while Josh couldn't imagine needing anywhere close to that many people during the primaries, he knew without even looking at the list what his first order of business would be.

" _Hello?_ "

"Hey man, you at your office?"

" _Yeah. I heard you were in town, come on by._ "

Charlie had surprised everyone when he went into the private sector after graduating law school. He claimed he had always planned to go back into politics someday, but there was more money in consulting at the moment, and Charlie really wanted to know what it felt like to live comfortably for once. With the Democratic Party floundering, no one could blame him for wanting to stay away for a while.

Josh checked in at the front desk where he was given a visitor's pass for the day. Charlie had apparently already called down to let them know he was coming; either the kid worked fast, or he could add Charlie to the list of co-conspirators on Donna and Sam's mission to get him out of the house. Yes, he was aware he was probably being paranoid, but he felt he had a right. It didn't matter that he was now willing to go along with their plan.

"Josh!" Charlie greeted, once Josh had located his office on the north side of the building.

"Look at you, big man with a fancy office," Josh motioned to their surroundings as the two men shook hands.

"It's no Oval Office, but it's not bad," Charlie acknowledged.

"Speaking of…" Josh began.

"You're gonna ask me to quit, aren't you?" Charlie interrupted.

"No!" Josh lied.

"Josh, I know why you're here, my wife is in Connecticut right now babysitting your kids, you think we don't talk before she leaves the state?"

"Alright, you got me," Josh caved. "I'm gonna need some serious help, if I'm going to do this, which apparently I am. I know it's a lot to ask, and I understand if you can't do it, but I could really use you. Any position you want, just please at least think about it?"

"Josh, relax," Charlie stopped him. "I sent in my two weeks' notice as soon as Donna called Zoey. Sam's been talking about this forever. No way was I going to sit this one out."

Josh was caught off guard by Charlie's response, but now wasn't the time to dwell on the apparent extent of this conspiracy from which he had been kept in the dark for an unidentifiable length of time—and rest assured, he _would_ dwell on it at some point—because his entire framework for this conversation now had to be reworked on the fly to account for Charlie's unanticipated enthusiasm.

"You…really?" was the intelligent response Josh finally formed.

"What? Did you expect me to be a tough sell?"

"I mean, kind of, yeah," Josh admitted.

"Josh, unlike you, I haven't spent the last ten years pretending that this _isn't_ what I do for a living. I was just biding my time," Charlie said with a smile. "And any position I want? That offer still good?"

"Um, yeah, yeah, sure, whatever you want," Josh stuttered.

"Deputy."

"Deputy?"

"To you," Charlie clarified. "I want to learn from you the way you learned from Leo."

"You want…Charlie, you're a lawyer."

"So? You are too, technically."

"Charlie—"

"If you need me on legal—"

"It's not that, Charlie. Don't you _want_ to be on legal? Or, actually, _run_ legal? You're more than qualified, you'd be good at it, and what's more you wouldn't have to be away from home nearly as often," Josh listed.

"All excellent points," Charlie conceded. "Except that I don't want to run legal, and I don't want to stay home. I know I'm a bit out of practice at all this, which is why I want to work under you. I want to learn from the best, and anyone in the city you ask would say that's you."

"Okay, first of all, _no one_ in this city right now would say I'm the best in the business given that I'm, you know, not really _in_ the business," Josh countered. "But that's an argument for another day. Charlie, are you sure? Because I'd love to have you as my second, but you gotta know that if you're in this, you're in. Long days on the road, long days working, twenty hour days…"

"Josh, I worked in the White House for eight years," Charlie reminded him.

"And I've been told I'm not the most pleasant person to work for," Josh added. "I'm not like Leo, much as I wish I was. I don't keep my cool, I get tunnel-visioned and I take it out on my staff, and most of the time that'll be you. You're going to be away from home, from Zoey, for most of the next year."

"Just like you're going to be away from Donna."

"Which is why I'm not going to be an easy person to be around. It's—I just want you to know what you're committing to before you give up your entire life for what might end up being career suicide."

"It's not going to be career suicide," Charlie said firmly. "For any of us. And I know exactly what I'm committing to, that's why I'm committing to it. Josh, you're going to need someone to keep your head on straight. Donna's gonna be in DC, Sam's gonna have his own problems, and anyone who doesn't know you is gonna be too scared of you to tell you when you're being ridiculous. Which, I gotta tell you, a lot of this conversation falls close to that line. Answer me this: everything else aside, do you want me as your deputy?"

"Yes," Josh didn't even need to think about it.

"Then I'm your guy," Charlie responded. "We'll figure out the rest as we go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Charlie confirmed. "And with any luck, I'll be able to take some stuff off your plate, like you did for Leo all those years."

"Don't compare me to Leo, Charlie," Josh found himself pleading. "I'm not him, I'll never be him, and to indicate anything else is disrespectful to his legacy. So stop that. I'm not him."

"No, you're not," Charlie acknowledged. "But you're damn good at what you do and you need to realize that. You haven't been around in a while, you don't know what people around here are saying."

"Charlie—"

"No, Josh," Charlie interrupted. "Sam didn't ask you for nostalgia's sake. Donna doesn't think you should do it just because she loves you. And I don't want to work for you for fun. It's because you're the best, and everyone knows it. Russell wanted you, even asked Donna if she could talk you into coming out of retirement."

"Okay, does my wife talk to, like, everyone but me?"

"And if I'm not mistaken, Congressman Tyler wanted to contact you too, after what you did for the last junior Congressman running for President," Charlie continued as if Josh hadn't spoken. "So stop with the whole 'I'm a political has-been' attitude, because it's just not true, and you are the only person in the country who believes it. Now we're going to go out there, and we're going to take back the White House, and yeah, people are probably going to keep comparing you to Leo, because you're the only person in this party in the same league as him. Now," Charlie stood up and Josh did the same. "Consider this your first lecture of the campaign. You'll be getting many of them, as per Donna's orders."

"I really wish she'd stop doing that," Josh grumbled.

"Yeah, well, you'll get over it," Charlie shrugged. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch. Let me know when you need me, boss." And with that, Charlie left Josh to find his own way out of the office, and Josh couldn't help but feel pride at how far the kid had come. This Charlie was a far cry from the one Josh had met almost twenty years ago now, who had been too nervous to call anyone on the staff by their first name for his first month on the job.

Josh had no doubt that Charlie would make an excellent deputy, if for no other reason than he wouldn't hesitate to, as he had put it, let Josh know when he was being ridiculous.

He made his way back to the street level and turned his badge in at the building's reception before stepping outside. He glanced at his phone to see if he had any messages, or, any messages he wanted to respond to. He unlocked it using his four-digit passcode (hell would freeze over before he registered his thumbprint into his iPhone…Donna accused him of being unreasonable but he wasn't entirely convinced that these phones weren't going to stage some sort of revolution on mankind, and until he was sure he wasn't giving them access to any more information than strictly necessary. Donna would be sorry when he was the only one who survived the technology-led apocalypse) and hit the most recent number on his call list.

" _Hey stranger._ "

"Very funny," Josh rolled his eyes. "Where are you?"

" _Waiting on the front steps with two sandwiches,_ " came his wife's reply. " _I take it you talked to Charlie?_ "

"Yes, and just so you know, we _will_ be discussing this whole 'conspiring against me' thing at length at some point in the future," Josh told her as seriously as he could as he headed back in the direction of the Capitol.

" _If you say so_ ," Josh could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

" _Donna_ ," Josh whined.

" _Josh,_ " she mocked back.

"You know what, I'm hanging up on you until I get there," Josh huffed. "Because you're being mean, and I don't have to put up with it."

" _Good for you_ " Donna patronized, and Josh really should be more annoyed than he was. Unfortunately, he found himself more endeared by his wife's antics than anything. Damn her.

"I'm actually like two blocks away right now so if you can bear to part with me for the next five minutes I actually am going to hang up the phone."

"I'm not the needy one in this relationship," she reminded him, though he knew she was only teasing.

"See you in a minute," he signed off before locking his phone again and picking up his pace. Sure they talked on the phone multiple times a day, but that was nothing like getting to see her in person, which was something he hadn't had the pleasure of for almost four days now. Hardly the longest they had been apart, but still. Given the choice, Josh would always rather see her in person.

Finally, Josh turned a corner and the Capitol building came into view, and just a minute later he had his wife in his arms. They usually weren't big on PDA, especially in DC, but Donna usually stayed with Andy while she was down here and Josh was staying with Sam for the week, so it wasn't like they had anywhere else to go.

"Hey," she whispered softly, tightening her arms around his neck, the bag with their lunch almost forgotten at their feet.

"Hey yourself," Josh responded, closing his eyes and breathing her in. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Donna echoed.

"I miss my babies," Josh added quietly.

"Oh, honey, they miss you too," Donna said, stepping back and resting her hands on the tops of his arms. "But they were very excited when Zoey got in last night, so I'm sure they'll be fine this week."

"It's not this week I'm worried about," Josh reminded her. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"So you talked to Charlie?" Donna changed the subject, bending down to pick up the paper bag that contained the sandwiches.

Josh sighed. "I did."

"And?"

"And I think you know exactly how the conversation went, because apparently this whole this is some premeditated conspiracy that I'm the last to be let in on."

"Want to go eat in my office?" Donna suggested.

"Yeah."

Donna took his hand and led him back in the direction of her building.

"There was no conspiracy, Josh," she said as they walked. "We all live in the same city, we're not total strangers, and of course your name comes up. Everyone adores you."

"Not true," Josh argued, though he didn't expect her to respond to his contradiction.

"You're right, this has been something Sam's been kicking around for a while, and no, I wasn't the only one he told," she continued. "Charlie and Zoey, Annabeth, really anyone who will listen. And everyone has always said the same thing: that he needed to get you to run his campaign."

"You didn't tell me that Russell talked to you," Josh said, though it came out more like an accusation than he had intended.

"A lot of people talk to me," Donna responded cautiously.

" _Donna_ ," Josh warned. "Bob Russell isn't 'a lot of people'."

"You're right."

" _Donna_."

"What do you want me to say, Josh?" Donna asked. She led them past her secretary's desk and closed the door behind them. "Bob Russell stopped by a few months ago. He said he wanted to make one more run. I told him I already had a job, he asked about you, I said you weren't interested, and that was that. Were you interested?"

"Of course not!"

"Then I'm not sure what part of that exchange bothers you," she said simply, pulling the sandwiches out of the bag and setting them on her desk, along with more paper napkins than any two people would ever need, before carefully folding the bag and adding it to her growing pile of paper bags. She claimed they came in handy if she ever needed to take stuff to Andy's, but Josh wondered if his wife wasn't becoming a hoarder—not that he would ever suggest such a thing to her.

"Just—it was—" Josh struggled. "I don't know Donna, but you should have told me anyways. Just because I'm not here doesn't mean I don't have a right to know what people are saying about me."

"You could always google yourself," Donna suggested with a smirk.

"Or my wife could stop getting this strange satisfaction from controlling my life and tell me when politicians talk about me," Josh responded.

"Honey, if I told you _every time_ your name came up in a conversation with a politician, we'd never talk about anything else."

That gave Josh pause as he sat down next to her on the couch. "Wait, really?"

"Mhm," Donna responded absently, unwrapping her sandwich and taking a bite.

"Seriously?"

"Josh," Donna huffed.

"I'm not being unreasonable here, Donna," Josh defended.

"People talk about you a lot down here, okay?" Donna said. "You're a bit of a legend, but not in the way you think. They all still talk about your victory with Santos as some kind of miracle—which it was, by the way, you're allowed to be proud of that regardless of what happened in 2010—and the talk of the town for the past year or so has been who you were going to pick to run in 2018. No one thought you would sit out as long as you did; every election cycle, inevitably it'll come back to 'who's gonna be the guy to bring Josh Lyman out of retirement'. You can ask Sam, he gets the questions too, probably just as much as I do. When you guys announced over the weekend, no on was surprised. In fact, I think people would have been _more_ surprised if Sam had announced without you by his side. You're not some political has-been, honey. You're still one of the greatest minds in the party."

"Which isn't saying much lately, I've gathered," Josh laughed mirthlessly. "You know, that's almost exactly what Charlie said."

"Well, Charlie's right," Donna responded. "I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass when I tell you that you can do this, and neither is Sam. You may not know all the players right now, but you know the game better than anyone."

"It's a stupid game," Josh mumbled.

"You're a stupid game," Donna teased back.

"Very mature," Josh huffed.

"Hey," Donna took his hand and waited for him to look her in the eye. "It's just me here," she reminded him. "You can't tell me you're not at least a _little_ excited for this?"

"Of course I am," Josh admitted. "Hell, I've probably been dreaming of this day longer than anyone. This…it's in my blood. It makes me crazy, and sometimes I hate the person I turn into when I let it take over me, but—"

"It's what you were born to do," Donna finished for him softly.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's like…I have no control over it. And I hate that. I loved being at home, you know? It was so much more…"

"Safe," Donna said. "It was safe. And you weren't used to that. You latched onto that. But you're not wired for safe, not forever. This city, this job, it's as much a part of you as it's a part of me. It's a part of _us_ , you know? We wouldn't be here if either of us was the kind of person to seek safety."

"Safety isn't a bad thing," Josh reminded her.

"No, but that doesn't mean its always the best thing."

"We have two kids at home!" Josh protested. "I wanted…I don't know, I wanted to give them stability. Leo got divorced after he went to work for Bartlet. Liz and Ellie and Zoey, they grew up around this stuff and you saw how it affected them."

"They turned out alright."

"It wasn't easy though," Josh warned.

"So we're not going to be a typical family," Donna shrugged. "There's nothing wring with that, is there? We love our kids, right? That's what matters. They might not get to grown up with a white picket fence and a mother who cooks dinner every night and a father who reads the paper on Saturday mornings. They might have to change schools, they might have to move around, they might not get to see us every day, but Josh, when they see you standing up there next to Uncle Sammy while he's taking the oath of office, they're going to understand everything. And they're going to be so proud. Liz and Ellie and Zoey turned out fine, and our kids will too. We'll make sure of it, won't we?"

"Of course we will," Josh answered.

"You have nothing to worry about," Donna assured him. "You're an amazing father, and no matter how much time you need to spend away from home this next year, they know you love them. You have nothing to worry about."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," Donna reminded him as they finished their sandwiches, and Josh couldn't quite disagree with her on that. The woman was really very freakish sometimes.

"Yes dear," he placated, as Donna balled up their trash and checked the time on her phone.

"Shut up," she smiled fondly at him, and it was such a wonderful sight that Josh had no choice but to kiss her. "You know I love you, right?" she asked, suddenly serious.

"Of course," Josh responded. "What are you—"

"I feel like I don't say it enough sometimes," Donna admitted. "But I love you, and I'm so proud of you for everything you've done in your life, up to and including raising our kids for the first six years of their lives. And I know you're nervous about going back into politics, but I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I am on your side every step of the way, okay? It's always gonna be you and me."

"Damn straight it is," Josh smiled down at her, leaning in to kiss her again. "How long until you have somewhere to be?"

"About ten minutes," Donna answered. "Want to just sit here for a bit? I miss being close to you."

"That sounds like absolute heaven, baby," Josh agreed. Donna rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm across his torso. Josh tightened his arm around her shoulders while his other hand stroked a smooth path up and down her side. It was the most at-peace Josh could remember feeling in ages.

He never wanted that moment to end, just the two of them sitting together in her office. In here, they weren't a congresswoman and campaign manager, they were Chiefs of Staff to the President and First Lady, they weren't the parents of two overly-rambunctious first graders; they were just Josh and Donna. Moments like this, Josh thought, made everything worth it, because at the end of the day, Donna was right: politics were a part of who they were, both individually and as a couple; it was stitched into the fabric of their relationship, and it was inevitable that they would end up back here someday. But as long as they ended up here together, Josh couldn't see it ending badly.

He knew he had a long way to go, but just that morning the staff of Seaborn for President (he would let a communications expert deal with the campaign slogan) had doubled from one person to two, and that was a start. And tomorrow maybe it would grow to four, maybe it would grow to ten. In his relaxed state, the wheels in his brain began to churn, outlining an agenda for the next forty-eight hours, cutting down Sam's list of people to the bare necessity, distributing their early funds to each of the three current offices, and Josh realized that he was doing it again. Right there, sitting on the couch in his wife's office on Capitol Hill, he was turning back into a campaign manager.

Just like riding a bike, he thought with a smile.

 **There was a point where I thought this chapter would be like 1500 words max...I really should know better by now. Let me know what you thought of all this by leaving a review or dropping me a PM! As always, suggestions as well as feedback are much appreciated! And with that, I'm going to go to sleep because it's almost 5:30am and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay wow I totally didn't mean to go this long between updates...I just ended up distracted by school and writing other things until suddenly it had been a month and a half since i'd actually touched this! Hopefully this was worth the wait!**

 _2011_

 _Josh was no stranger to chaos. In fact, he had lived almost exclusively amid chaos for over twenty years. Chaos was a comfort, he understood chaos._

 _He had never known chaos like this._

 _Josh had been sitting at home, flipping between CNN and reruns of Friends, when his cellphone buzzed. Donna had gone out to dinner with some women she'd met at the gym, so Josh was confused when her name appeared on his caller ID._

 _"Hello?" he answered._

 _"Hey honey," Donna's voice was oddly strained, and Josh furrowed his brow in concern._

 _"Donna?"_

 _"Yeah, it's um…" she started. "So I think I'm in labor?" She phrased it like a question and Josh nearly jumped out of his chair._

 _"You_ think _you're in labor?!" Josh exclaimed, frantically looking for their overnight bag, his wallet, his keys, his shoes, racking his brain for anything else he might be missing._

 _"Yeah, I mean, my water broke," she clarified._

 _"And you_ think _you're in labor?"_

 _"Okay, well, we're on the way to the hospital," Donna continued, as Josh dragged the small suitcase out to his car and locked the door behind him._

 _"Isn't it early?" Josh asked. The twins weren't due until the middle of August; it was lucky they even had a_ plan _for labor this early._

 _"Yes, well, apparently the kids didn't get the message." Josh could tell that Donna was losing patience, and he couldn't blame her, but Josh felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him and he was struggling just to stay on his feet. This was like nothing he had ever experienced before._

 _Donna beat him to the hospital by enough time to get settled in a room, and when Josh burst in she was surrounded by three ladies he vaguely recognized but couldn't name. He should probably make an effort to get to know her friends, but now was certainly not the time to worry about that._

 _Everyone cleared out of the room shortly after and the long, exhausting process of labor began. Josh could hardly catch his breath, and he felt his heart shatter with each of her screams. He had heard of women going into labor for over forty-eight hours and after the first three hours Josh could barely comprehend that level of agony. Donna alternated between assuring him that it wasn't that bad, and swearing that she was never having kids again. All Josh could do was hold her hand and wipe sweat from her forehead while whispering reassurances between contractions._

 _It was shortly after midnight on July 4th when Josh heard the first cry. He hardly noticed at first, so consumed with his wife's discomfort, but then Donna finally collapsed backwards, panting, and the doctor lightly touched his shoulder asking him to cut the umbilical cord._

 _Twenty minutes later Josh was cutting the second cord and suddenly they were parents. The moment Josh was handed his daughter and looked up at Donna holding their son was the moment everything caught up with him and he broke down entirely._

 _2017_

Pulling up to his house was surreal. Objectively, Josh hadn't been away for that long, but two weeks was the longest amount of time that he had been away since the twins were born. He didn't know what to expect.

"What are you waiting for?" Sam asked from the passenger seat. They had decided to take a short break for the holidays. Apparently Sam had gotten a pretty good start on building a team before he had even reached out to Josh, which made Josh wonder how badly they even needed him, but also made him feel much better about their late start knowing that at least _some_ people knew what they were doing.

Still, they weren't far enough ahead that they could afford to go their separate ways for a week and forget about the campaign, so Sam and Ainsley would join them for Christmas in Connecticut, where they could continue crafting their message and early strategy, as well as make quick trips up to the New Hampshire office if needed. Plus, it had been awhile since the kids had gotten to spend any significant amount of time with Uncle Sam and Aunt Ainsley, and Donna had decided it would be a good Christmas treat for them.

Josh sighed. "Nothing, I guess," he responded. He unlocked the car door and popped the trunk so they could grab their suitcases from the back. As Josh closed it again, the front door swung open and the loud voices of two six-year-olds greeted them. He braced himself for impact, but apparently they were much more focused on his friend, because it was Sam who found himself under attack.

"Hey guys!" Sam greeted happily, not seeming to mind in the slightest that he had a kid hanging on each arm.

Megan and Leo started chattering excitedly over each other as the group made their way to the house. They loved company, loved when there were more adults in the house to shower them with attention. It reminded Josh of his own excitement growing up whenever his dad's friend Mr. McGarry would drop by for a visit.

Zoey waited for them at the front door and Josh greeted her with a hug. They stepped out of the way as the twins practically dragged Sam towards the living room where Josh could hear the TV playing.

"How were they?" Josh asked once he and Zoey were in the kitchen.

"They were great, they always are." Josh shot her a disbelieving look. "Everything has been dealt with, no further parenting on the last week is required. Chill out," Zoey added, rolling her eyes. Josh mocked her with an eye roll of his own.

"Yeah, yeah, you're a saint Zoey," Josh teased.

"I am, and you would be lost without me," Zoey agreed.

"Seriously, though, thank you," Josh added. "I don't know what we would have done without you these past few weeks."

"Well, now that you're dragging my husband all across the country for the next year it's not like I have much else to do," Zoey shrugged.

"Zoey, listen—" Josh began.

"Seriously, Josh," Zoey interrupted. "He likes it. He's looking forward to it. He wants Sam to be President almost as badly as you do, and I want him to do what he loves, just like Donna wants you to do what you love. Besides," they both looked towards the living room when they heard a shriek from Megan, but it didn't seem to escalate further so there was no reason to intervene. "I love your kids. I really do, I love spending time with them, and I know my parents like me only being a few hours away. And it's good practice," she added.

Josh looked up in surprise. "Really? You guys are…?"

"We're thinking about it," she replied calmly.

"Ah, Zoey, that's great!" Josh congratulated, wrapping an arm around Zoey's shoulder. "You're gonna be a great mom, kid." He paused and shook his head. " _God_ that's weird to think about."

"Tell me about it," Zoey smiled. Josh often had difficulty separating the girl he met during the first Bartlet campaign who had become his kid sister, and the woman who was one of his closest friends, married to another one of his closest friends, and one of the few people he trusted unconditionally with his children. She had grown up tremendously since he had known her.

"Did Donna say when she was getting in?" Josh changed the subject.

"She and Ainsley are coming tomorrow," Zoey reported. "Do you want me to stay until then? I'm just driving up to Manchester, my parents won't care if I'm a little late"

"Nah," Josh waved off. "I take care of them by myself all the time. Plus, you don't wanna leave Charlie alone with your parents for too long!"

"Maybe Charlie doesn't want to, but I for one couldn't care less what my father subjects him to while unsupervised," Zoey huffed.

"Well, you're a real sweetheart, aren't you?"

"He knows what he signed up for," Zoey shrugged.

"Get outta here, kid," Josh instructed.

"Yeah," Zoey agreed. "See you after the new year?"

"Count on it," Josh confirmed. "Meggie, Leo, come say bye to Aunt Zoey!"

The commotion in the other room stilled for a moment and Josh pictured the twins scrambling to get up from whichever part of Sam each of them was currently sitting on. Soon, the sound of feet pounding towards the kitchen grew in volume as first Megan then Leo rushed to say goodbye to their favorite babysitter.

"Why can't you _stay_?" Megan whined as Zoey picked her up for a kiss on the cheek.

"Because my mom and dad want to see me for Christmas, just like your mom and dad are coming home to see you," Zoey explained. She put Megan back on the ground and picked Leo up for his goodbye, much quieter than Megan, as usual.

Josh walked her to the door, trailed by the twins and Sam, who gave her a quick goodbye hug of his own. Josh was the last to hug her as he instructed her to "text when you get home, okay?"

"Sure thing, _dad_ ," she sassed back. Josh rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored the jab. So what if he acted like a dad? He _was_ a dad, after all.

By the time he closed the door, the twins and Sam were gone again. This time Josh could hear voices coming from upstairs, so he followed the sound to the twins' room.

"Give that one to Uncle Sammy!" he heard Megan instruct as he poked his head inside the room. The three were sitting on the floor, Leo's toy race cars dumped on the floor between them.

"Do I not even get a hello?" he smiled at them from the doorway. Three heads snapped up when he spoke, but the twins looked right back down at what they were doing.

"Hi daddy."

"Hi daddy."

Sam laughed and shook his head.

"Come on guys, your dad's been gone for two weeks! Go give the old man a hug!"

"But we're about to have a race!" Megan whined.

Sam was about to protest, but Josh just waved him off.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'll go get dinner started."

"Do you want any help?" Sam tried.

"Nah, I got this," Josh declined. "I'll call you down when I'm ready, okay?"

Sam's expression showed concern, but he didn't protest any further, so Josh lingered for a moment longer until they all had turned back to their game, then made his way downstairs. It was probably still a little early for him to start dinner, but at the very least it would give him something to do. He tried not to feel hurt by his kids' apparent lack of interest in his presence, but it was an unfamiliar experience. Sure, they saw him a lot more often than they saw Sam, but he had been gone for two weeks! He had spent nearly every moment he was away missing them, thinking about them, counting down until the moment he could go home and see them again. Apparently they hadn't been doing the same.

Josh sighed as he dug around in the fridge, taking stock of what Donna must have bought when she was home last weekend. They didn't have much in the way of fresh produce, which meant that Zoey had likely been feeding the kids fruits and vegetables all week. He was glad that even with both him and Donna gone they weren't living off of frozen dinners and takeout, something they had vowed wouldn't be a part of their kids' diets after having lived off of crap for so long themselves.

Eventually he came up with the ingredients to make black bean quesadillas. It would take him hardly any time to assemble enough for the four of them, so as a distraction he pulled out a box of brownie mix and began to follow the directions. It was a Friday night and they had a guest, dessert wasn't unreasonable. Boxed brownies were a pretty short process too, and within ten minutes the pan was in the oven.

Josh almost laughed at the thought of himself trying to accomplish such a task just over a decade ago. When he and Donna started dating, even boiling water for pasta was hit or miss with him, and anything as complicated as baking was a definite no-go. Now a boxed mix was something he could throw together while talking on the phone with one hand and cooking dinner with the other.

He rinsed the mixing bowl and stuck it in the dishwasher, and finally began the actual process of making dinner. After a moment of thought, he switched on the little TV on the counter and flipped it to CNN. He was still getting back into the swing of watching political news so regularly, but Josh was relieved to find out that nothing much in the world had changed during his six year retirement. Or, a lot had changed, but not so unpredictably that he hadn't been able to pick it up within forty-eight hours. Fortunately, he also had Sam filling him in on anything he might need to know anyways.

When the last quesadilla was in the pan, Josh called up the stairs to the other three mouths he would be feeding.

"Come on down whenever you're ready," he shouted. The twins appeared in under ten seconds, and Josh directed them towards the downstairs bathroom to wash their hands.

"I was going to offer to set the table but it looks like you've thought of everything," Sam commented, washing his own hands in the kitchen sink and drying them with a towel.

"You kept the twins entertained for a solid forty minutes without sticking them in front of the TV," Josh reminded them. "Setting the table is the least I can do."

"Looks like you did a bit more than that," Sam nodded towards the tray of brownies cooling on the stove. "Since when do you bake?"

"Since Megan and Leo got to be old enough to ask for cookies on a daily basis," Josh responded, carrying the serving plate to the table. "I'm not nearly as good at actual baking as Donna, but I can rock some Betty Crocker as needed. Not that they actually _need_ this stuff," he added. "But it's good to have a treat every so often.

"No arguments here," Sam agreed, taking his seat across from Josh, where Donna would usually sit when she was home. The each had a kid on either side of them, but once again the twins' focus seemed to be on the guest. Josh tried to insert himself in the conversation, but then Megan would just turn back to Sam to tell him a story about something that had happened at school. Josh loved hearing them talk, and it didn't really matter that they didn't want to tell their stories to _him_ , except that it did.

Because they were his kids but all of a sudden he felt like an outsider in his own home.

 **The good news is, I've also written the next two-ish chapters so I should have another update for ya'll very soon! Please let me know what you thought of this, feedback makes me wanna update even quicker!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow look at me updating within a reasonable time frame like a functioning human with their life together go me! Let me just preface this chapter by saying this: it took every ounce of my willpower to quiet my inner Josh/Sam shipper on this one...please enjoy**

Sam offered to help clean up, but Josh brushed him off and told him he could help the twins get into their pajamas instead. Clearing the table was a pretty quick process, especially since he and Donna had trained the kids to at the very least bring their own dishes to the sink. All Josh had to do was rinse off the plates and load the dishwasher, and wash the pan he had used for quesadillas.

When he had finished that, he went upstairs to check on the bedtime process, and found Leo sitting quietly on his bed reading, already dressed, and Megan sitting in what had to be a pile of every pair of pajamas she owned, determined to show Sam each and every one of them. Sam, for his part, seemed to be trying to convince her that they were all very good and she should just pick one, but reluctant to be stern with her. Josh supposed he would have to be the bad guy here then.

"Megan Elizabeth Lyman."

Megan dropped the shirt she was holding at the sound of her dad's voice and looked up at Josh guiltily.

"I was just showing Uncle Sam that I have jammies in every color of the rainbow," she defended.

"Your brother is waiting. Please just pick a color and put them on so we can watch a movie. If you take too long getting ready you won't be able to finish a movie before bedtime," Josh reasoned with her. That seemed to do the trick because Megan quickly tugged on the first top she could get her hands on, then Sam helped her locate the bottoms.

Josh ducked into his bedroom to change into sweats and met the rest of the group back in the living room, where Megan and Leo were crouched in front of their DVD case, deep in a discussion over which movie to watch tonight. Sam had already taken a spot in the middle of the couch, so Josh settled in his armchair, hoping but not really expecting one of his kids to crawl up there with him like they normally would.

Eventually, the kids seemed to settle on Moana, though Josh wasn't entirely sure how much input his son had had in that decision. Leo's easygoing nature certainly saved them a great number of fights, but Josh also wanted him to be able to stick up for himself. He made a mental note to make sure that Leo picked the next movie.

As Josh predicted, the twins climbed on either side of Sam on the couch and snuggled in tight. Sam, as if reading his mind, shot him an apologetic glance, but neither of them said anything. Josh had given up on begging his kids for attention for the day.

Leo hardly made it an hour into the movie before he was out cold, despite his sister loudly singing along to each song. It was only eight-thirty, but Josh also felt the desire to turn in for the night, so he slowly stood and stretched, and walked over to the couch to pick Leo up. The boy hardly stirred as Josh shifted him in his arms.

"Do you mid staying up with her?" Josh whispered to Sam. Sam gave him another worried look.

"Are you going to bed?" he asked quietly.

"I might call Donna, but yeah, I'm pretty beat." He didn't really have any intention of calling his wife, he just wanted to crawl into bed, but that probably sounded like a much less concerning excuse.

"Okay, yeah, I'll make sure she gets in bed," Sam agreed.

"You have everything you need down here?" Josh asked. "Towels, whatever?"

"I'm good," Sam responded. "Thanks Josh. Goodnight."

"Night," Josh answered. "Goodnight Megan," Josh added a bit louder.

"Night daddy," Megan responded distractedly, eyes never leaving the TV screen.

Josh carried Leo from the room without another word. He thought about waking him up to brush his teeth, but there was always the chance that he wouldn't go back to sleep afterwards, so Josh just resolved to make sure he brushed extra well in the morning and placed his son right in bed.

Content that Leo would stay asleep, Josh closed the door halfway and crossed the hallway to his own room. He mechanically moved through the process of getting ready for bed before climbing in himself, barely remembering to send a goodnight text to Donna before he closed his eyes. He must not be used to a campaign schedule yet, because Josh couldn't remember feeling so wiped in his entire life, and he used to go three days at a time without sleep. He also used to be much younger, he figured.

Still, he couldn't tell if his exhaustion was physical or mental at the moment. All things considered, he had been getting an acceptable amount of sleep up until this point, and while he had grown accustomed to a more laid-back lifestyle, the campaign had yet to really pick up steam (that would happen the first week of the new year, when they would practically move into their New Hampshire office in preparation for the first primary) and Josh hadn't even felt tired until he got home. The one thing that had kept him going the past few weeks had been the thought of seeing his kids, and so far it hadn't gone at all like he'd expected.

Josh woke up the next morning to his phone buzzing with a text from Donna that she and Ainsley had boarded their flight. The house was still quiet, unusual for a Saturday morning. His phone said that it was after eight, so there was little chance that the kids were still asleep, especially with Leo falling asleep so early. That meant that Sam must be up too, which meant that the kids had gone to wake him up first. Josh should be grateful for the rare opportunity to sleep in. He wasn't.

He rolled out of bed, stretching, and pocketed his phone for Donna's call that they landed. Downstairs, as he expected, Josh found the other three occupants sitting in front of Spongebob in the living room. Instead of announcing his presence, Josh squeezed between Megan and the arm of the couch.

"Morning daddy," she greeted before turning back to the TV.

"Morning sweetie," Josh smiled, combing a hand gently through her curly hair. "Sleep well?" She was sufficiently distracted, though, because she offered no further comment.

Josh sat with them for another minute before getting up to get breakfast started. He wasn't exactly in the mood to cook again, so he turned on the coffee machine for himself and Sam and pulled out a few boxes of cereal for the kids. Hopefully they would come in when they got hungry enough. In the meantime, Josh went about getting ready for the day: showering, checking his email, making a few quick phone calls to Sam's remaining staff in Washington before they went home in the afternoon. He tried calling Charlie, but it went straight to voicemail so Josh hung up without leaving a message.

Finally, around ten o'clock, Donna texted that they were on their way. Josh returned a thumbs up emoji and went back downstairs to check on the twins and Sam. He found three bowls in the sink, so apparently they had eaten. They were, however, still watching TV in their pajamas.

"Okay guys, mommy's gonna be home soon, time to get dressed," Josh instructed.

"After this episode _please_ daddy?" Megan begged, but Josh had long since become immune to his kids trying to walk all over him. Mostly.

"Nope. Now," Josh reached for the remote and turned the TV off. "You've been watching TV all morning, now it's time to start the day."

Megan stood up with a huff and an eye roll and trudged in the direction of the stairs, Leo following quietly behind her.

"Do they need help? Getting ready and stuff?" Sam asked as he stood up from the couch.

"Nah, we'll give them a few minutes. Megan's pretty self-sufficient, she just likes attention. And Leo's getting better at doing stuff for himself too. If they're not down in a bit I'll go check on them."

The two men made their way into the kitchen, and Josh poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Also, sorry if they weren't supposed to be watching TV this morning," Sam added. "I wanted to let you sleep and I wasn't sure what else to do with them to keep them quiet."

"Don't worry about it," Josh waved him off. "They're six years old, Saturday morning cartoons won't kill them. I do wish you'd woken me up though, you're not here to babysit."

"No, I'm here to spend time with them though," Sam countered. "Seriously, I don't mind. What did you get up to this morning then?"

Josh shrugged. "Email, made some phone calls, nothing crazy."

" _Josh_."

"What?"

"You're working already? We haven't even been gone a whole twenty-four hours yet!" Sam protested.

"It's not like I had anything better to do," Josh reasoned. "And I thought we agreed that now isn't a good time for us to be taking a week off?"

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't take _some_ time off," Sam shot back.

"And I will."

"When?"

"When…I don't know, when I don't have anything to do! Do you want me running this campaign or not?" Josh huffed.

Sam threw up his hands. "Fine, fine, do what you need to do," he surrendered. "But don't think I won't get Donna to wrangle you in when they get here."

"Oh I'm counting on it," Josh grumbled.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, fine," Josh responded as convincingly as possible.

Sam didn't look particularly convinced, but he dropped it, so Josh took it as a win.

"Well, as long as you're working you might as well keep me up to speed on everything that's going on," Sam suggested.

"I just checked in with Max for a bit," Josh informed him, referring to Sam's current Chief of Staff in his Senate office. Max Neilson was a young kid from Sam's hometown in California, and reminded Josh a bit of himself when he was working for Hoynes. He had done a tremendous job running Sam's office for the past six years, but Max himself would be the first to admit he knew nothing about politics at a national level and even less about campaigning on such a large scale. Josh actually looked forward to working with him, in whatever capacity the younger man wanted to be a part of the campaign. If nothing else, Josh was sure they'd be in pretty close contact just trying to coordinate Sam's campaign commitments with his obligations as a sitting Senator.

"And?" Sam pressed.

"Don't worry about it," Josh responded reflexively.

" _Josh_."

"Seriously Sam, what do you think we're talking about?" Josh laughed. "I just wanted to make sure he knew what he was taking home with him for the holidays. He's gonna check in on the Orange County office when he gets in tonight, then I told him to take the rest of the weekend off."

"As should you," Sam reminded him.

"Yeah right."

"Seriously Josh, I know we said we couldn't take a week off and I know we really _can't_ afford to take the week off but you need to spend time with your family too."

"I think you're spending enough time with my family for the both of us," Josh mumbled.

"What did you just say?"

Thankfully, Josh was saved from having to answer by the sound of the front door opening. The twins really had some sort of sixth sense when it came to new people in the house because before the door had even shut again, Josh heard two sets of footsteps come barreling down the stairs. His reminder not to run in the house fell on deaf ears as they passed through the kitchen.

"Mommy!" he heard them shout, and Josh internally sighed. So apparently it was just him they didn't care about seeing this time.

Josh and Sam followed after them to the front hallway where their wives each had taken custody of a twin, Ainsley holding Megan and Donna carrying Leo.

"Don't worry boys, we're here to save the day," Ainsley greeted.

"Our heroes," Sam responded sarcastically, meeting his wife for a kiss. "Hey baby." Megan took that opportunity to grab onto Sam's shoulders and transfer herself into his arms.

"Apparently Sam's her new favorite," Josh informed them, doing his best to keep the mild resentment out of his voice. Ainsley and Sam didn't seem to notice, as Megan had immediately begun telling Ainsley a story that she had told twice yesterday about her friend Ella and a purple crayon collection, but the expression on his own wife's face told him that they would be having some sort of conversation about it later. Great.

"Well, in case it wasn't clear, you're my favorite," she said, quiet enough that only the two of them—and possibly Leo, if he was paying any attention—could hear. Josh wrapped his arms around her so tightly that their son started to squirm, so Donna let him down and returned her attention to Josh, wrapping her arms around him in return. He would never, never, ever stop being grateful to this woman for being in his life.

The world felt right again the moment she was in his arms and Josh allowed himself to relax for a moment, to forget the unexpected stress that had come with returning home. Having Donna around just automatically made everything better. She gently squeezed the back of his neck, a familiar gesture, comforting.

"Okay?" she asked softly. She could have been asking about a million things, but even though they had been apart for most of the past week Josh knew that she was completely in-synch with his mood.

It wasn't a discussion for right then, though, because they had company to entertain, so Josh just nodded into her shoulder. "Yeah, he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Good flight?" he asked, slightly louder.

Donna turned and wrapped an arm around his waist, guiding him back towards the kitchen. "It was a flight," she responded absently. "I'm getting way too used to flying back and forth now."

Josh smirked. "A simpler time," he said.

"Hard to get used to it again?"

"I used to fly multiple times a week, now I've flown more in the past month than I have in the past six years," Josh explained. "You could say it's an adjustment."

"He had to take anxiety meds when we flew to California," Sam informed her, following them in. He was still carrying Megan and Leo was trailing closely behind him.

"Okay, I didn't _have_ to," Josh protested. "I was fine. It was just a long flight and I wanted to sleep."

"You didn't sleep," Sam shot back.

"Only 'cause you wouldn't shut up the entire time!" Josh accused. "I swear to god, seven hour flight and you didn't close your mouth once. It would've been remarkable if it wasn't quite so irritating."

"I think it's a little early for you two to be getting on each other's nerves," Ainsley commented, entering the kitchen behind them. "You're only six weeks in, what are you going to be like come November?"

"I've seen Sam more in the last six weeks than I've seen _Donna_ ," Josh complained. "It's a miracle I haven't killed him yet."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Donna smacked the side of his head. The twins, clearly seeing that they didn't want to be a part of this conversation, retreated up to their room to play. Josh felt slightly proud that their default wasn't to turn on the TV anytime they were bored, especially when he had instructed them to turn it off not half an hour ago. They didn't play outside as often as some kids, but having a built-in playmate helped them to entertain themselves. "You two get along just fine."

"This is why they tell you never to room with your best friend in college," Josh added. "Too much time together is poison."

"Now you're just being dramatic," Sam huffed.

"Okay, fine, it hasn't been _that_ bad," Josh conceded. "You are a pain in the ass, though."

"Well, yeah," Sam agreed. "You knew that going in."

"I knew that like thirty years ago," Josh confirmed.

"God, have we actually known each other for thirty years?" Sam paused, and Josh had to stop and think about that for a minute because how could that even be possible? He could hardly remember a time when Sam hadn't been in his life—they had met in their mid-twenties, Sam fresh out of law school and Josh barely starting to make a name for himself in Washington. Oddly, Josh couldn't remember actually meeting Sam, nor could he remember a moment where he realized that the other man had become his best friend, but no matter how many times they went apart and came back together it was like nothing had changed.

"That's…wow," Josh finally said. "I guess we have."

"You were one of the first people I met in DC, I think," Sam reminisced. "I know we weren't working together at the time, but you might have known someone else on Jacobson's staff? I don't think I ever actually figured out the connection."

"Y'know, for the life of me I can't even remember how we met it was so long ago," Josh admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Remind me to pick up some blueberries," Donna teased. "Can't have your memory going quite yet."

"Give me a break, it was a long time ago," Josh huffed back.

"Nah, it wasn't really remarkable, I'm not surprised you don't remember," Sam brushed off. "You had been in town for a few years already, and you know what it's like, you meet ten new people every day and at least nine of them you'll never see again. I hadn't even been there two weeks, though, I barely knew anyone. I kept telling myself that everyone I met could be a connection in the future, so I was determined to memorize every face and name I was introduced to. Well, that lasted all of a month before I realized that it just wasn't feasible, but you made the cut. It was that little bar, I think, just off of 6th? A couple of guys asked me if I wanted to go for drinks after work and I was just happy to be included. Turned out, they were all assholes who ended up ignoring me once we got there, but you came over and talked to me for like an hour or something. I thought you were the greatest thing ever. After that, you said hi to me a couple times around town, but I don't think you actually knew my name. We got introduced again when our guys were collaborating on that bill for…god, what was it? Agriculture or something. Anyways, we ended up working together a bit on that, and then we'd all go out for drinks at the end of the day. And then even once the bill had died we kept meeting up for drinks and stuff."

Josh vaguely remembered that bill. It had been doomed from the get-go, and Josh had said as much, but his opinion meant very little back then with only three years of experience under his belt. It had been one of those things that would get thrown to the more junior staff, simply because no one else had wanted a piece of it, and being relegated to "junior staffer" had left his twenty-nine-year-old ego a bit bruised.

He remembered Sam, though. Sam had been beyond impressive. Sam had been the one person on the entire project who acted like he wanted to be there, and his energy was infectious. And on top of that, Sam was _smart_. The man's intellect seemed obvious now, having worked with him for decades, but back then, Josh remembered being taken aback by how well-spoken and confident and just _brilliant_ the kid was.

Donna had started moving around the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher that Josh had never gotten around to, and Ainsley moved to help her. They were giving the boys at least the illusion of privacy for their conversation, which Josh appreciated. He and Sam were always very open with each other—something that came from the comfort of knowing each other for so long—but Josh often found it hard to really open up with an audience, and sometimes Sam could be the same. Fortunately, both of their wives were well-tuned to them. They really did get lucky.

"You did well on that bill," Josh said aloud. "I remember something about that. You stuck out to me then for sure. I knew you'd be someone I'd want on my side. I knew you'd do big things one day." Sam smiled shyly, and Josh smiled back. "Looks like I was right. I'm so proud of you, Sam. Whatever this next year brings, I'm already so _incredibly_ proud of you."

"That really means a lot, Josh," Sam said seriously. "I wouldn't be here without you."

"Nah, you'd probably be making seven figures in the private sector instead," Josh teased. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be. This is what I'm meant to be doing. I have purpose here. I have something to say, and I want to say it."

"Well, that's what I'm here for," Josh assured him. "To make sure you're heard."

 **See? Josh/Sam fluff that's not actually Josh/Sam everyone wins! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, please continue to leave me feedback! It makes me want to keep writing! I've got the next chapter done now too, and the following chapter started...however, I started classes again today which means my time to write just took a major hit...I'll do my best though! Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm backkk! I wanted to get the next chapter finished (or, at least mostly finished) before i published this one, and I kept getting distracted by other writing projects, so that's why it's been a few weeks. Really, though yall should know by now not to expect updated on any sort of regular schedule i'm way too much of a mess for that. Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait?**

Donna eventually shooed the men out of the kitchen, telling them to go make sure the twins hadn't broken anything or developed some sort of scheme for world domination in the hour they had been left alone. Sam commented that any such plan might actually come in handy, given the circumstances, and Ainsley proceeded to whack him with a dish towel. So up they went.

Thankfully, no such chaos was actually occurring upstairs, and Josh and Sam found the kids playing quietly in their room. Leo was sitting on his bed reading a well-worn copy of Charlotte's Web, while Megan appeared to be organizing her half of the closet by color.

Josh stopped in the doorway to take in the scene. It had been ages, it seemed, since he had had the time to just observe his kids, to appreciate what incredible humans they were turning into. Leo was easily reading two years above his grade level, possibly higher, and Josh was at a loss for new content to give him. Josh, for all his academic success, had struggled with reading until well into middle school, and he couldn't comprehend his six-year-old son flying through chapter books. He got that from Donna for sure; Josh could hardly remember a time when his wife wasn't reading something or other.

Megan, on the other hand, could hardly be bothered to pick up a book most of the time. She would sit still when someone read to her, and Josh knew if she ever actually tried she could read just as advanced books as her brother, but her attention span was her limit. Leo could sit in one place for hours, Megan could hardly stay still for five minutes. If Josh had to guess, her dresser would also be newly organized, her dolls would be in matching clothes, and Leo's cars that they had been playing with yesterday would be lined up by number. That also came from Donna; it had taken Josh nearly fifty years of life to so much as find the hamper with his dirty clothes.

Megan was the first to look up and see the two of them hovering in the doorway.

"Uncle Sam! Come look!" she exclaimed, and Sam was powerless to deny her anything, so he strode across the room and knelt down beside her, listening intently as she explained exactly what she was doing before launching into a story about some kid named Blake.

Leo glanced up at the sound of his sister's voice, but returned immediately to his reading. Josh took a seat next to him on the bed.

"Hey buddy," he greeted softly. "Want me to read to you for a bit?"

"No thank you," Leo responded, turning the page.

"You sure?" Josh pressed. "We can pick out a new one. One you haven't read yet? Or you could read to me if you want. Practice for reading out loud in class."

"The reading in class is easy," Leo stated absently. "I want to read this now."

Josh sighed, but let it go. He sat back against the wall, and smiled when Leo leaned back against him as he continued reading. Small victories.

Josh used to abhor sitting still—Megan definitely got her hyperactivity from him—but he had mellowed with age. Reading to his kids, or holding them while he watched TV, or rocking them when they couldn't sleep at night and Donna had to get up early for work was how he bonded with them when they were small. Josh had grown to enjoy those little moments of peace, because with young twins they were few and far between.

"Hey Meggie, when you're done in here wanna go organize mine and mommy's closet?" Josh asked. Across the room Sam laughed, and Megan rolled her eyes and shot her dad a look of contempt.

"You can organize your own closet," she sassed back, causing Sam to laugh even harder.

"Would you organize my closet?" Sam asked, clearly baiting Josh.

Megan looked up at him seriously, and put her hand on his arm. "Uncle Sam, you need all the help you can get," she said, and now it was Josh's turn to laugh.

"Clearly she's never seen your closet," Josh teased. "Didn't you used to organize your shirts alphabetically by brand or something stupid like that?"

"I still do," Sam responded proudly. "I wouldn't want to wear the same shirt two days in a row."

"Sounds like you're a real treat to live with," Josh snorted, and Leo shushed him emphatically.

"I'm trying to read, dad," he huffed.

"Yeah, _dad_ ," Sam mocked. "Be quiet."

"We should all play a game together," Josh suggested, jostling Leo against his side. "You guys go pick one out."

"No thank you," the twins responded, practically simultaneously. Sam raised his eyebrows in amusement and shrugged, so Josh tried again.

"What about Candyland?" he asked. "We haven't played that in a while! You guys love that game."

"That's a kids game daddy," Megan huffed. "I'm playing with Uncle Sam right now. I need to finish this."

"And I'm reading," Leo added.

"I guess you're overruled," Sam shrugged again.

"Maybe later," Josh tried not to sound as disappointed as he felt. As much as he loved just sitting with them, nothing compared to actually _doing_ things with them, getting to know them as people. He would spend so much time in the next year away from home that he didn't want to waste a moment he did have with them. Yet here they sat.

Josh noticed that Leo had reached the end of a chapter and was about to try his suggestion again now that the boy was at a stopping point, but Leo just set down his book and crossed the room to join Sam and his sister by the closet.

"Meggie can we do my stuff next?" he asked, and Megan turned back to the closet to pull Leo's clothes from their hangers. Sam moved to get up and leave the twins to their game, but Megan grabbed his arm, catching him off guard, and pulled him back down. Josh had to smile a little at that, he was all too familiar with the surprising strength of his six-year old daughter.

"I'm not done with you yet," she scolded seriously, and Sam chuckled in amusement.

"Yes ma'am," he obeyed, and Megan shoved a pile of clothes at him.

"Sort these," she instructed, and Sam did as he was told. Smart man.

Josh gave up on trying to insert himself into their game and stood up, creeping as inconspicuously as he could from the room. Downstairs he could hear the girls laughing about something, and Josh didn't want to interrupt their time together. Ainsley split her time between DC and California now, and obviously most of her time out east was spent with her husband. It was rare that she and Donna could take time just the two of them, like they had when they had all worked in Washington, and Josh wanted them to have this time.

So he crossed the hall into his and Donna's room and pulled out his laptop. If he couldn't be useful here, he might as well find other ways to be productive. Unsurprisingly, Josh had received over fifty emails since he had checked this morning, including about five from Charlie asking with increasing urgency for Josh to save him from the circus that was holidays with the Bartlets. Josh smiled and shook his head and pulled out his cellphone, selecting Charlie from his list of recent calls.

" _Hello?_ "

"Hey Charlie, it's Josh," he greeted. "You sounded like you could use a break."

" _God yes,_ " the man sighed in relief. " _I love the Bartlets, but it's not even one pm and already I've heard the story of the wise men four times according to four different perspectives. And Christmas is still two days away._ "

"Sounds like you've got your hands full," Josh commented dryly, but he felt the kid's pain. Josh had spent many a holiday at the Bartlets' Manchester farm and there was no end to the inane trivia the former President could spout. As much as they complained, though, none of the former staff felt more at home than they did up in New Hampshire, sitting around listening to Jed Bartlet go on and on about the Roman empire.

" _It's not so bad_ ," Charlie admitted. " _Though I do wish I could have my morning coffee in peace. Zoey usually doesn't say a word until she's had at least two cups herself. Not Jed. He's got more energy than could possibly be considered normal for a man his age. This must be what retirement does to you._ "

"I was retired for over six years, and I was never like that," Josh reminded him.

" _Yeah, except you weren't retired, you were moping_ ," Charlie retorted. " _And you still had your hands full._ "

"Hey, we've been over this!" Josh protested.

" _Yeah, yeah,_ " Charlie huffed, and Josh could tell he was rolling his eyes. " _Speaking of which, why aren't you playing with the kids?_ "

"It's…been a bit of an adjustment," Josh admitted.

" _Being home?_ "

"Yeah. It's weird, I spent years as a stay at home dad, I go back to work for six weeks and suddenly I'm a fish out of water," Josh laughed. "But Donna got home today, so hopefully that will help things go back to normal."

" _You'll figure it out_ ," Charlie assured him. " _I've seen you with those kids, and Zoey talks about you all the time. You're a great dad. Whatever's going on down there, you'll be fine._ "

"Yeah. Thanks Charlie. I'll let you get back to the family."

" _Don't mention it. I'm glad to have the excuse to leave the room for a bit. They're all so excited about the campaign up here_ ," Charlie added. " _Jed's already asking when and where we want him to start campaigning. I swear we're going to have to chain him down to keep him still._ "

"Well, we could certainly use him," Josh replied. "We're gonna start polling first thing after the holidays. Sam and Max had some stuff done over the summer, thank god, so we're not going in completely blind, but still. It'll be nice to have some actual data to work with."

" _Have you called Joey Lucas?_ " Charlie asked.

"We've been emailing a bit, yeah," Josh confirmed. "She's putting together her team right now, we'll meet up with her when we fly out to California New Year's day. Then we hit the ground running. You ready for all this?"

" _More than ready_ ," Charlie agreed. " _Call me if you need anything. Give the rest of your family our love._ "

"Same to you," Josh replied. "Merry Christmas, Charlie."

" _Merry Christmas, boss._ "

Josh ended the call and tossed the phone next to him on his bed. He scrolled through his email, trying to decide if there were any other calls he should make right now. He still didn't see anything from Lou, though he didn't expect anything different. She wasn't exactly avoiding him, per say, but Josh knew she wasn't crazy about the idea of joining another campaign. Josh thought he might be able to wear her down, after all he had gotten her signed onto the Santos campaign and then the administration through sheer force of will, but incessant phone calls weren't the way to do it. Josh would need to stop by DC again at some point to speak to her face to face. If that didn't work, well, surely Sam knew plenty of people to work in communications. Worst comes to worst, Sam would have no problem writing speeches himself in the meantime. It wasn't a sustainable strategy, Josh would be the first to admit; once the campaign actually picked up Sam would have much more important things to worry about than the first five drafts of every minor policy speech he would be giving.

Josh was still clicking through emails when he heard a knock on the bedroom door. He looked up just as Donna entered. She closed the door behind herself and crossed to sit next to him on the bed.

"What are you doing up here?" she asked. "I came to call you guys down for lunch and Sam said you disappeared. Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Josh said quickly, closing his browser and putting his computer to sleep.

"Josh…"

"I'm fine, Donna," Josh repeated, shooting her a look, begging her to leave it alone right now. He would open up to her eventually, but there wasn't time. "You said something about lunch?"

"Downstairs," Donna replied, though she still looked skeptical. Josh had no doubt that she would bring it up again later, but he was thankful that she seemed to drop it for now.

"Excellent." He kissed her on the cheek and stood up, offering her a hand to pull her up as well.

Lunch was a loud affair, as it always was when the twins suspected they had a captive audience. They traded comments, progressively getting louder, in between bites of sandwich, until Josh thought he needed an Advil or something.

"Inside voices," Donna had to remind them on more than one occasion, though it never lasted for longer than a minute. Sam and Ainsley were patient the entire time, nodding and smiling where appropriate, but verbal input from the adults was minimal.

Donna had the kids clear the table when they were done, and Josh got up to start loading plates into the dishwasher.

"I can help with that, Josh," Ainsley offered, but Josh waved her off.

"I got it," he responded. "You guys got everything ready."

"I can help too then," Sam started to get up, but Josh turned him down too.

"Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about it," Josh repeated. "You guys can go upstairs and, I don't know, organize the sock drawer or something."

He hadn't meant to sound so bitter, and he knew the other adults had picked up on his tone, but with his back turned to them he couldn't see their actual reactions. It was probably best that way, anyways. He kept telling himself he wasn't bitter, he _wasn't_ , but he had been home almost twenty-four hours and his kids had barely said ten words to him the entire time! Sue him if he was feeling a little jealous.

"Go on upstairs, guys," he heard Donna say softly, and a moment later a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He fought the instinct to relax into her, instead continuing to vigorously scrub at dishes that didn't actually need it.

"Josh?"

"Hmm?"

"I think you can just put that knife in the dishwasher," Donna commented evenly. "And I'm pretty sure it's clean now either way."

Josh dropped the knife and sponge in the sink and sighed.

"Sorry," he said defeatedly. He turned around in her arms and allowed her to embrace him for real.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Donna assured him. "But honey, are you sure everything's okay?"

"I'm just tired," Josh tried.

"Yeah, but I've seen you tired," she reminded him. "I've seen you tired, and I've seen you cranky, and this isn't it. This is different, and if it's really nothing, then fine, I'll drop it. But if you need to talk, I'm your wife. That's what I'm here for."

"Yeah," Josh sighed.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," Josh nodded. "I'm just adjusting to being home again, I guess," he admitted. "It's…different than I remembered."

"It's different when you're not here all the time," Donna agreed.

"It's like they didn't notice I was gone at all!"

"Josh, they're six!" Donna explained. "You've been here every day of their entire lives. They're at school all day, and when they come home Aunt Zoey is waiting for them. And now Sam and Ainsley are here too."

"They're excited when you come home," Josh argued.

"Sometimes. And sometimes I come home to two cranky kids in timeout who are a pain to be around, and sometimes all they want to do is sit on the couch with their daddy and watch baseball and they could care less that I'm here at all," she smiled. It wasn't sad, but more like it was something she had accepted as truth a long time ago. Sometimes Josh forgot how long ago Donna had gone off to Washington. The twins had been just over a year old when she was elected to her first term in Congress, and as a result she had missed a lot of them growing up. Josh's heart went out to her; he hadn't until that moment realized just how hard it must be for her to leave every week.

"See?" she continued, kissing Josh on the cheek. "It won't always be like this. And the days that they do come running to greet you at the door? Those will make all the other days worth it."

Josh knew she was right, he had known since he got home that he was being unreasonable. But the thought that his kids could just _forget_ about him broke his heart. He had spent so much time worrying that his sudden return to work would disrupt their lives; he hadn't even considered the alternative, that they wouldn't even notice his absence.

"Josh," she pulled him out of his thoughts again. "Just because they didn't run screaming into your arms this week, doesn't mean they won't wake up tomorrow and climb into our bed to say good morning. I know you love always being their favorite person in the world, but you can't take everything they do personally."

"Well I know _that_ ," Josh huffed. "Do you know how many times Megan has said she hates me? I know they don't always mean what they say and do. But still. It's just…I've missed them so much, you know? It's _so_ hard to be away from them. I'm not used to it! I've been here for every moment of their lives so far. I spent _every moment_ I was away missing them. And now I know I have to leave again in less than a week, and who knows when I'll have another weekend to come home?"

"Hey, hey, come here," Donna soothed, pulling Josh closer to her. He hadn't even realized how worked up he was getting until he relaxed against her shoulder.

"I just miss them so much," he whispered. "I don't…Donna, I don't think I can do this."

"Oh, honey, of course you can," she responded softly. "You're Josh Lyman, and you can do _anything_ you set your mind to. You've proved that over and over again." She pulled back so they could make eye contact and gently ran a hand down he cheek. Josh closed his eyes and leaned into the contact. "But if you don't want to, that's a decision you have to make. We all just want you to be happy. That's the most important thing right now. If you want to do this, we _will_ make it work. You don't have to worry about that. But if you really think being gone is going to make you miserable…Josh, no one wants you to be miserable. That's something you have to decide."

"Yeah," Josh breathed softly. "I don't…I have to think about it."

 **We're now on the third chapter of Josh and Sam's trip home, and I swear when I first had this idea it was gonna take up like a chapter at most. I also wasn't going to do a big thing about christmas, now i've got like 13k words about this damn trip home for the holidays...Shows you how much control I have over this story lol...I have no clue what's happening with this fic tbh I'm just writing and hoping for the best at this point, so please let me know what you think, feedback makes me want to keep writing!**


	10. Chapter 10

Josh felt himself withdraw a bit after that. He still joined them for dinner later that night, but had spent most of the afternoon out, just walking aimlessly as he attempted to clear his head. Dinner was no more comfortable than lunch had been, for Josh, at least. The twins didn't seem to notice any tension, so Megan was perfectly happy to talk through the entire meal, with occasional input from her brother. Sam and Ainsley, on the other hand, were all too aware that something was wrong with Josh. He felt a little bit bad about that, and he knew he wasn't being a great host, but he needed to get his head on straight if he was to be of any use to anyone in the near future.

He went to bed early that night, retreating to his room almost immediately after they finished eating. He wasn't exactly tired, but he was exhausted, and was sure he wouldn't be much company for anyone anyways. He heard Donna come in a few hours later, presumably once everyone else had settled in for the night. She took her time getting ready, and Josh debated rolling over and letting her know that he was awake, but thought better of it. They had already had this conversation, no sense in starting anything now.

Donna paused before climbing into bed herself, and Josh suspected that she knew he was awake after all, but it seemed she too was willing to let Josh's moodiness go for the night because she didn't reach out to him, except for a light touch on his bare shoulder. A silent signal that she was _there_.

Josh had hoped that the morning would be different, that he _would_ be woken up by the weight of two six-year-olds jumping on him, but he woke up much the same way he had the previous morning: slowly and alone.

Donna's side of the bed was empty and he could hear voices coming from the kitchen downstairs. He stretched as he sat up and dragged himself to that bathroom for a shower. The hot water didn't leave him feeling as refreshed as he had hoped, so he gave up after only a few minutes and braced himself to face whatever was going on downstairs.

The kitchen was surprisingly empty by the time he got down there, with only Donna standing at the sink cleaning up what appeared to be the remains of a large breakfast. He strode up behind her like she had to him yesterday and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Morning," he murmured, kissing her shoulder.

"Hi sleepyhead," Donna smiled, tilting her head to rest against his momentarily.

"You could have woken me."

"Nah, you're an old man now," Donna teased. "You need your sleep."

"I'm not _that_ old," Josh huffed, but there was no heat behind his protest. "Where is everyone?"

"The twins wanted to show Sam and Ainsley the Christmas lights downtown, so they went for a walk."

"They definitely needed to burn off some energy," Josh commented. "Megan hasn't stopped bouncing in forty-eight hours."

"Megan hasn't stopped bouncing in six years," Donna corrected and Josh smiled against the side of her head. "Are you okay?"

Josh thought for a minute. "I'm better than I was yesterday, I think," he responded. "What are we doing today?"

"Well, I saved you a plate from breakfast if you're hungry," Donna began. "It's in the oven."

"Okay, and when the hell did you have time to go to the store?" Josh interrupted.

"Yesterday, while you were off sulking somewhere."

"I wasn't—"

"I know, I'm kidding. But Ainsley and I went before dinner last night. Oh, and word of advice, never go to the grocery store on December twenty-third, it was like the Hunger Games out there."

"You say that every year," Josh reminded her.

"And one of these years I swear to god I'm getting the groceries a week in advance. _Anyways_ ," she returned to his original question. "I don't know that we have much in the way of plans? I'm assuming you still have gifts to wrap."

"I do not, I'll have you know." Donna turned to look at him skeptically. "It's possible I limited most of my shopping to stores that did gift-wrapping for you."

"I'll call it a win," Donna shrugged. "I mean, we'll play it by ear, see what kind of mood the kids are in when they get back. Movie tonight? They'll probably want to watch Elf before they go to bed, then the four of us could watch something after we lay out all the presents."

"Dinner?"

"Josh, how long have we been together?"

"I know, I know, I just wasn't sure if we had time this year!" Josh defended.

"I'm about to get started, actually," Donna replied, turning off the faucet and drying her hands. Josh allowed her to turn and face him but kept his arms around her. " _Josh_."

"Need any help?" Josh offered, smiling smugly as she gave up her effort to move away from him.

"Eat your breakfast, and I'll let you know," she lightly smacked the side of his face, then kissed where her hand had touched.

"Yes ma'am," Josh agreed, squeezing her tightly one more time and finally releasing her. She opened the oven as she passed on her way to the refrigerator, and Josh took that as a signal for him to grab the plate. Pancakes and turkey sausage greeted him, and Donna slid a bowl of fruit across the counter. She then got to work, pulling well-organized grocery bags from the fridge and setting them on the counter. It was actually quite brilliant how she did it, Josh thought. Whenever Donna went shopping, especially before hosting, she unloaded groceries by keeping all the ingredients for a particular dish in a bag together, so she wouldn't have to go hunting for them later. Or so that she didn't have to trust Josh to read her mind whenever he tried to help.

There weren't as many bags this year as there had been in years previous, which Josh attributed to them both working so close to Christmas. While his family's observances of Jewish holidays had been spotty at best (and Josh had to admit he had gotten even worse as he'd gotten older—he hardly even thought about keeping Kosher, and the kids knew about Hanukkah but that was pretty much it), Donna had grown up celebrating the Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve with her Italian family, and had wanted to pass on that tradition to their kids. They rarely actually prepared seven fish, because that was a lot of food for just the four of them, and Josh didn't think there were seven different fish he would eat, but it was the thought that counted.

Instead of sitting down at the table, Josh ate standing over the sink, causing Donna to roll her eyes.

"What do you need me to do?" he asked around a mouthful of pancake.

"Chew with your mouth closed, would be a good start," Donna commented as she started unpacking the bags and pulling out the other staples she would need.

"Okay," Josh swallowed. "Now what do you need me to do?"

"Would you like to be responsible for the shrimp?"

"I would love to be responsible for the shrimp," Josh agreed, putting his plate and bowl directly into the dishwasher and starting it. Donna nodded in approval and Josh was proud of how much he'd matured since they started dating.

"Are you actually going to eat the calamari sauce this year?" she asked.

"I will eat whatever you want me to eat," Josh appeased absentmindedly, pulling out a bowl to make the topping for the shrimp scampi.

"Okay, see, you say that, but then you end up eating plain pasta and shrimp because you have the taste buds of a five year old," Donna reminded him.

"I do not! I've gotten so much better that I used to be!" Josh protested.

"Honey, you lived off of pizza until the age of forty-five, the bar was pretty low to begin with."

"Do you want my help or not?" Josh huffed impatiently.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I love you," she laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek. Josh rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his smile.

"Much better," he nodded.

"And?"

"And I love you too, Donna," Josh patronized fondly.

"You have gotten a lot better at eating real food," Donna allowed. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"Yes, I promise, this year I'll try some of everything."

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it," Donna mumbled, but Josh let it go. They continued to chat as they worked, just catching up on everything they'd been up to in the past few weeks apart. It had been awhile since Josh had had any real stories about his life to share with her that didn't involve the twins, and he found he loved telling her about the work he was doing. It reminded him of when they were both working under the Santoses and Josh would accompany the President on a trip abroad for a few days, while Donna stayed back with the First Lady. Sometimes he would be hardly awake by the time they returned, and he and Donna would climb right into bed and just talk about what they had missed in each other's lives, eyes barely open, Josh falling asleep mid-sentence. He liked that they still had that.

Josh's scampi topping was chilling in the fridge and Donna had gotten the sauce into the crockpot by the time the front door opened and suddenly the kitchen was in chaos again. Josh was caught off guard when a small body slammed into his and Megan tugged at his arm.

"Daddy I showed Uncle Sam the snowflake lights that they have in the cookie store window and the tree got lit at thanksgiving but it was light out so the lights weren't on but they have bigger ornaments there than on our tree and you can actually _see_ them when its daytime and can we go back when it gets dark out so we can show them the _actual_ lights too?"

Josh blinked twice, processing the verbal explosion from his daughter, and looked up at Donna.

"So much for burning off energy, huh?" he asked.

"It was worth a shot," Donna shrugged. "Okay, you're off the hook. Ains?"

"On it," Ainsley agreed, washing her hands to take over for Josh.

"Do you want us to entertain the monsters?" Sam asked, pointing his thumb in the direction of the stairs. Apparently Josh was so used to his kids' noise he hadn't even noticed that they had left the room.

"Sam, they're six, and there's two of them. They don't need to be entertained," Donna reminded him. "There's probably some sort of game or something on, right? If you guys want to watch?"

"I should probably check in with Max," Josh declined. "And Charlie. And—"

"Josh," Sam stopped him. "I can promise you that neither of them has worked today, and that neither of them are working tomorrow. And you shouldn't be either. I haven't checked my email once since we got here."

"You don't have to check your email ever if you don't want, that's what I'm here for."

"Josh."

"Okay, okay, fine. Football?" Josh surrendered.

"Thank you."

Josh led them both into the living room as Donna and Ainsley resumed dinner preparations. The 1pm games had just started, so they settled on New England vs Buffalo, fully prepared to give up on a blowout before halftime. It didn't take long for Josh to cave and pull up his email on his phone, but Sam slapped it away immediately.

"Hey!" Josh protested.

"Watch the game," Sam prompted.

"I don't wanna watch the game, I wanna check my email," Josh whined. "Sam, I'm trying to run a campaign here; you gotta let me work!"

"Dude, you're gonna burn out again," Sam reminded him. "And I can't have you burn out. I need you here and ready for the next eight years and that's not going to happen if you burn out again. So give me the damn phone and watch the game."

"You already have the damn phone," Josh mumbled, crossing his arms childishly.

"Then let me keep the damn phone," Sam amended patiently. He waited a moment, but Josh didn't say anything or move to take his phone back. "Thank you."

"I hate you."

"I know," Sam patronized. "But you'll thank me later. You didn't come home to work, did you? You came home to spend time with your kids."

"My kids don't want to spend time with me, though, so it's not like I've had anything better to do," Josh pouted.

"Come on, of course they want to spend time with you!" Sam exclaimed. "They're your kids! They've missed you, you know."

"Seems like they've missed you more," Josh countered.

" _Josh_."

"I'm just saying!"

"Look, I don't have kids," Sam started, "so I'm not for a second going to even pretend like I know what I'm talking about. But their lives are going through a pretty big change right now too, maybe more than any of us, because they have no idea what's going on. All they know is their dad is suddenly not at home anymore, and they've got all these different people around. They're going to be handed off between so many different people _I_ can't even wrap my head around it. And they're six, Josh. But they're also your kids, so instead of acting out, they're going to pretend like nothing's wrong and hope it just fixes itself on its own."

"I do _not_ do that," Josh protested.

"Please, that's the _only_ way you know how to deal with things. That's why you've been disappearing all week. Because somehow you've managed to pass your communication issues on to your kids and now none of you are talking. But you need to. Trust me, Josh, they want to spend time with you," Sam assured him. "You were all they talked about all morning."

"Really?" Josh asked hopefully.

"You're all they've talked about all weekend, believe it or not," Sam informed him. "For whatever reason, you're kind of their hero, and leaving them with Zoey for a few weeks doesn't change that."

Josh couldn't help feeling guilty. He certainly wouldn't be winning any father of the year awards after the last few days.

"I don't know how to do both," Josh admitted. "The dad thing, and the working thing? I've never had to do both. It's like I have two entirely different brains, and I can't figure out how to switch between them. Donna can do it, because she's amazing, but I can't. I don't…I don't know if I even have it in me to be honest. The twins, they deserve better than that. If I can't do both, I need to be here with them."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "You want out, is that what you're asking?"

"Maybe," Josh whispered.

"No."

"Sam—" Josh tried again.

"I said no," Sam repeated. "I don't know what's going on with you, but clearly your head is going to some weird places that it has no business going, and as your friend, I won't let you talk yourself out of this. You can't do both? That's bullshit. If there are two things I _know_ you can do, it's run a campaign and be a dad. You'll figure it out. But I'm not going to let you quit just because it's hard. Because you're going to regret it, and I'm going to regret it, and Josh, I want to be President and the only way that happens is if you help me get there. So no, you don't quit."

"I don't think it works like that," Josh finally responded, but he was smiling, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted.

"It works however I say it works, have you forgotten who's in charge here?"

"I'm in charge," Josh reminded him.

"Damn right you are. For now, at least," Sam ammended. "Now watch the game. This is probably the last sporting event we'll be watching for a while."

"What, you're not gonna watch basketball tomorrow?" Josh teased.

"It's Christmas Day, dude, Meg and Leo are gonna have so much new crap to play with they'll need constant supervision to make sure they don't destroy the house."

"Okay, clearly you don't know my kids," Josh rolled his eyes. "If they were even capable of mass destruction—which they're really not, it's pretty convenient—Megan would get it cleaned up back to Donna's standards in like twenty minutes. Donna signed off on whatever you got them, right?"

"Donna signed off on…most of what we got them," Sam admitted sheepishly.

" _Sam_."

"Would it make you feel better that I didn't even tell Ainsley about one of the things?"

"Not even a little bit," Josh replied, shaking his head. "God, Sam, what did you do?"

"It's nothing too bad," Sam assured him, though Josh wasn't entirely sure that he believed him. "I just wanted it to be a surprise, and I don't think either of you will actually have an objection. I'm not trying to cause trouble here."

"You're always trying to cause trouble," Josh countered. "But okay, I'll take your word for it. But if Donna flips, it's your head."

"Understood," Sam agreed.

By halftime the game was closer than they had anticipated, but Josh still felt his attention drifting. He didn't particularly care about either team, so he found it very difficult to stay invested in the game the way Sam could ("Come on, how could anyone not love Tom Brady, Josh?"). Baseball season couldn't come soon enough.

Sam took mercy on him eventually and gave him his phone back, and naturally the first thing Josh did was check his email. Sam rolled his eyes but left him alone to scroll for a while. Given that it was Christmas Eve, and that Josh had already responded to emails earlier that morning, there wasn't much to look through anyways. He stopped himself from sending a check-in to Max, though he did shoot Charlie a quick text to make sure the Bartlets hadn't driven him to mania yet.

He was about to open his CNN app just for something to read when he was interrupted by a jolt to his arm.

"Hi," Megan greeted innocently, showing her dimples.

"Yesss?" Josh dragged out the word, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her onto his lap. She flopped backwards so that her head was resting on Sam's thigh while her legs were draped across Josh.

"Hi," she said again, this time grinning up at Sam.

"Well, well, well, what have we got here?" Sam asked lightly tickling her side.

"It's me, I'm bored," she answered simply.

"Join the club," Josh grumbled.

"Your daddy's boring," Sam pointed out to her.

"Leo's boring," Megan huffed.

"What's he doing?" Sam asked.

"Reading," Megan and Josh responded at the same time. Josh smiled. He really did know his kids.

"So now you want us to play with you, is that right?" Sam continued.

"Yes please," Megan smiled.

"Did you ask mommy if she needs help the kitchen?" Josh asked. It was a bit early to set the table, which was definitely something the twins could help with, but they were getting to the age that Donna would let them help with the actual preparation of the food sometimes. Some days Megan loved cooking, and some days she'd rather have everything prepared for her like the little princess she is.

"Two people is _plenty_ dad," Megan told him seriously.

"Did your mom actually say that or are you just guessing?"

"Have you _seen_ the size of that kitchen? I'll just get in the way," Megan responded.

Sam raised an eyebrow at Josh, who shrugged sheepishly.

"It's entirely possible that I get kicked out of the kitchen from time to time," Josh admitted.

"He deserves it," Megan confirmed, and Sam laughed.

"Boy, you don't stand a chance in this house do you?" he asked.

"Not a one," Josh shook his head. "Somehow I ended up with another Donna and honestly I don't know how much I can take."

"I am the perfect mix of both you and mommy," Megan recited easily, something Josh and Donna teased each other (and the kids) about from time to time. It was true; in many ways the twins had ended up with opposite parts of each of their parents, but there was no denying that they were Josh and Donna's kids. Josh loved that.

"That's right kiddo," Josh smiled fondly, gently squeezing one of her ankles.

"Explains why your kids are basically superhumans," Sam commented, and Megan lit up.

"We _are_ superhumans!" she agreed. She sat up, pulling her legs from Josh's lap and bouncing off the couch. "It's why Leo reads so much, and I can do math and cook and run fast and we can write stories and use words that Mrs. Pine says first graders don't usually know and—"

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"This is why you don't get her started," Josh suggested with a smirk as Megan continued to rattle off the things that she and her brother could do better than anyone else in their class. Josh didn't disagree with her, his kids were pretty great, but she was a little young to be picking up his ego.

Sam didn't seem to have a problem with that, though, because he just laughed and picked Megan up again so that she was entirely settled on his lap.

"Okay," he interrupted, "but can you explain football to me?"

She looked back at him with a glance so full of attitude that Josh had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing (he was trying really hard to discourage her sass, at least before she hit middle school, but he was probably fighting a losing battle anyways).

"I could, except it's a commercial right now," she replied.

"She's got you there," Josh pointed out, and Sam stuck his tongue out at him. Mature.

"Okay, then miss smarty pants, we'll just have to wait for it to come back on then won't we?"

"It would appear so."

Sam blinked in surprise and this time Josh couldn't stop himself from snickering.

"That was…" Sam trailed off.

"That's what I'm saying!"

"There's actually two of them."

"It's scary," Josh agreed.

"Focus please," Megan brought their attention back to what was apparently the more important matter, as the TV had switched back to the game, now the beginning of the second half. "Okay, so I don't know who the Patriots are playing, but it doesn't matter because they'll probably win anyways. But the other team is getting the kickoff so they get to start with the ball. Aaaand it went into the end zone so they start at the twenty. They'll probably pass on first down, because that's a good way to start the half from back there. It's going to another commercial now though." She started squirming and Sam let her off the couch again. "This is boring too, I'm going to go see what mommy's doing now. Bye!"

"I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified," Sam admitted as they watched her skip out of the room.

"I think "both" is usually a pretty safe bet when it comes to that one," Josh replied.

"She knows more about football than you do," Sam continued.

"Only because the Jets suck pretty much always and I get angry and storm out while Donna stays in here with the twins watching the Packers play frustratingly well for a team whose mascot is a slice of cheese," Josh defended.

"You're not even from New York why aren't you a Patriots fan? Or, at least the Giants? The Jets have _never_ been good you should be used to this," Sam reminded him.

"You don't choose the team, the team chooses you, Sam," Josh replied wisely.

"Okay, well, I chose my favorite teams so I still enjoy watching sports," Sam shrugged, looking back at the TV. "And my six-year old daughter doesn't know more about football than I do."

"I do enjoy watching sports!" Josh protested. "Just…good sports. Like baseball. I taught these kids everything they know about baseball. Meggie's even gonna play softball in the spring. Or, whatever it is they play when they're six."

"Wow, they're playing sports already?"

"They started soccer last year. Leo wasn't having any of it though, he might just sit inside and read for the rest of his life. Or he just hasn't found a sport he cares about yet. Megan needs something like that to burn off her energy. She and I spent a lot of time last summer in the back yard playing catch. She's not bad, either. No idea where she gets that from, neither Donna nor I are particularly sporty."

"Ain't that the truth," Sam laughed.

"Hey!"

"What? You said it first!"

"Whatever," Josh huffed. He glanced at the TV to see if anything had changed, but no, just another commercial. Sometimes football just moved too damned slow. "I'm gonna go see if they need any help in the kitchen," he said as he stood and stretched his back.

"Your funeral," Sam commented, and Josh rolled his eyes.

Apparently they had transitioned from dinner into dessert, as the women had Megan standing on a chair between them as she rolled out ginger cookie dough. Donna was watching her closely but didn't seem to be interfering much; Megan had her mother's attention to detail for sure.

"Got any for me?" Josh asked, walking up behind his wife to put his arms around her waist.

"No," Megan responded without looking up. Josh hid his smile into Donna's shoulder and she pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Well, that settles that," Ainsley commented amusedly. Apparently Josh wasn't the only one who found Megan's tone adorable. God help them once she actually tried to fight with her parents, but there was just something so funny about his six-year old trying to boss him around.

"You don't want to share with you dad, Megan?" Josh pretended to whine.

"There are raw eggs in here. We don't eat raw eggs," she recited. "You can have one when they're done."

"This is all your fault," Josh informed Donna, squeezing her tighter.

"Me? You're the one who stays home with her!" Donna protested.

"Yeah, but I would never tell her not to eat raw cookie dough," Josh pointed out. "You've created a monster."

"Superhuman, daddy," Megan reminded him as she worked.

"You're super- _something_ alright," Josh grumbled, and Donna tugged gently on his hair to scold him. She often accused him of being the reason for their kids' sarcasm, but Josh honestly thought they shared the blame for that one. Neither of them had quite mastered the ability to, well, hide their annoyance, particularly with each other. They didn't fight, but they definitely bickered and taunted, the way they always had. The result was, of course, two kids much better versed in sarcasm and snark than any six-year-olds should be. Oh well, Josh thought it made them more interesting anyways.

"Why don't you go find your son," she suggested pointedly. Josh nodded against her shoulder and stepped away.

"Is he still in your room, Meg?" he asked as he turned towards the stairs.

"How should I know? I've been down here with you guys," she huffed.

"A simple 'I don't know, dad' would have sufficed," Josh grumbled, and he heard Donna gently remind her to be respectful as he walked away. Leo was exactly where Josh had expected him to be, lying on his stomach on his bed, the same copy of _Charlotte's Web_ in front of him, though he appeared to be much further than he was yesterday. Josh hesitated to disturb him, having been brushed off yesterday, but this time he was here on instructions from Donna so at the very least he could use her as a scapegoat.

Leo looked up when he entered this time, and put a bookmark in his place.

"Hey you," Josh greeted softly. Leo rolled onto his side so he could face his dad when he sat down on the edge of the bed. "How's it going?"

"Good," Leo shrugged simply.

"Your sister's helping mommy and Aunt Ainsley make cookies. Do you want to go downstairs and help?"

Leo just shrugged again, making a noncommittal noise as he avoided eye contact. That worried Josh more than a little bit. Leo was quiet, sure, especially in comparison to his twin, but not like this, especially not at home with people he felt comfortable around.

"Hey, you feeling okay buddy?" Josh asked, helping Leo sit up so that they were facing each other.

"Fine."

Josh sighed. Was this what Sam had been talking about? Leo had seemed fine when he was playing with Megan the past few days, and Sam hadn't seemed particularly worried when they came back this morning, but Josh could tell that something was definitely bothering him.

"You know you can talk to me, right? If something's wrong I wanna know what it is."

"I know," Leo replied. "I'm okay. Megan's just being too loud. I didn't want to go on a walk this morning but mommy said we had to."

"I bet she would've understood if you told her you needed a break from your sister. Did you ask her to stay home?"

"No, I just went."

"Aww come on buddy, you know if you want something you need to ask for it! Mommy isn't a mind reader!" Josh reminded him.

"I _know_ , I just forgot!" Leo exclaimed, clearly getting frustrated. For someone with such an extensive vocabulary for his age, Leo often had trouble expressing himself.

"Stop and think for a minute," Josh encouraged. He gently grabbed his son's wrists to prevent him from clenching his hands. "See if you can figure out the words for what you're thinking. Do you want to come downstairs or do you want to stay up here a bit longer?"

"I…" Leo hesitated for a moment, looking up at Josh shyly. "Can you read to me?"

Josh smiled softly. "Sure," he agreed. "Go pick one out."

Leo hopped up and knelt down in front of the book shelf next to his bed. The kid had accumulated a nice collection of books, some favorites that he had read multiple times already, some new series Josh and Donna thought he might like, even some gifts from Grandpa Jed that he wasn't quite old enough to understand yet, but Josh suspected he'd be reading at a high school level in no time.

Finally, he settled on an old favorite that the two of them had read together multiple times over the years: _The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe_.

"You sure?" Josh asked. "You don't want a new one?"

Leo shook his head. "I like this one."

Josh leaned back on the bed and Leo settled against his side so that they could both see the pages. He pressed a kiss to the top of his son's curly head before opening the book and flipping to the first page.

" _Chapter one, Lucy Looks Into a Wardrobe…Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy…_ "

This was the best part of fatherhood, Josh decided. Everything else was completely worth it.

 **A bit longer chapter than usual, but I just couldn't figure out where to split it up. Hopefully wasn't too much? I haven't started the next chapter quite yet, but I think it's going to pick up with Sam and Josh back out on the campaign trail...I think I've stretched this part out as far as I can haha XD Let me know what you think of this, and I'll try to update something soon!**


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